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  #1  
Old 2006-06-05, 16:50
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theory jokes

im sure we have heard a few of them, mostly bad ones but give em anyway

Q:why did the pianist go to jail?

A: he fingered A minor



Q: Why did the 5th leave the army?

A: he knew he would never be a Major

those are the only two i can think of right now
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  #2  
Old 2006-06-05, 16:58
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*groooooan*

i dont know any, but smiled at those. a smile in anguish that is
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  #3  
Old 2006-06-05, 17:30
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The new 'Theory Of Relativity':

E = Fb
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  #4  
Old 2006-06-05, 18:44
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  #5  
Old 2006-06-05, 20:23
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Nothing personal but I think I would rather hit myself in the head. . .. I did it every day when my old piano instructor would say "What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft- a flat minor" and the whole "all cows eat what?" and then answer "not hay. . . but what, grass". . . . . I seriously wanted to strangle that guys when he did that crap sometimes. .. . .
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  #6  
Old 2006-06-05, 21:13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tchambliss
I seriously wanted to strangle that guys when he did that crap sometimes. .. . .


What made you hessitate?
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  #7  
Old 2006-06-06, 05:30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tchambliss
Nothing personal but I think I would rather hit myself in the head. . .. I did it every day when my old piano instructor would say "What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft- a flat minor" and the whole "all cows eat what?" and then answer "not hay. . . but what, grass". . . . . I seriously wanted to strangle that guys when he did that crap sometimes. .. . .

i dont get the cow one
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  #8  
Old 2006-06-06, 09:27
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Think it's suppose to be a way to remember the notes on the treble clef or something like that.
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  #9  
Old 2006-06-06, 10:08
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the spaces on the bass cleff are ACEG. and peeps always are saying all cows eat grass to remember the note names.
A-all
C-cows
E-eat
G-grass

then for treble remembering the notes for the lines are

E-every
G-good
B-boy
D-deserves
F-fudge
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Quote:
Originally Posted by User01
ibut i wouldnt get any help at a slipknot board, theyre struggling with palm muting!

Last edited by YJM04 : 2006-06-06 at 10:11.
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  #10  
Old 2006-06-06, 13:27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guitar_demon
im sure we have heard a few of them, mostly bad ones but give em anyway

Q:why did the pianist go to jail?

A: he fingered A minor



Q: Why did the 5th leave the army?

A: he knew he would never be a Major

those are the only two i can think of right now


They are both quite funny. Particularly the second one, for me at least. It's got more reference and less pun.
The 5th is not major!
AAAAGH HA-HA HA-HA!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatdanny
Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while fucking you in the eye. Brutal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadude
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  #11  
Old 2006-06-06, 13:29
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...... what did the guitar wear to the beach?....
A:a G string.

What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a musician's car?
A:Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof

Why did Bach get rid of all of his chickens?
A:Because his audience, at every concert, kept yelling... "Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach, Bach


not really theory but thats all i could think of. pretty corney huh?
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music expresses which words cant emulate



Quote:
Originally Posted by User01
ibut i wouldnt get any help at a slipknot board, theyre struggling with palm muting!
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  #12  
Old 2006-06-06, 19:53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YJM04

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.


Thats really funny haha. Too true.. too true
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  #13  
Old 2006-06-07, 11:08
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YJM04
......

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
A: Give him a sheet of music.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a musician's car?
A:Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof....

BURN!!!!
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  #14  
Old 2006-06-07, 18:37
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Whats the difference between (insert musician's name here) and feedback?

Feedback is in tune.
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  #15  
Old 2006-06-08, 01:16
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Put your finger under my G string and clean out the grime.

Im not joking.
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  #16  
Old 2006-06-08, 13:07
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YJM04
...... what did the guitar wear to the beach?....
A:a G string.

What did the guitar say to the guitarist?
A: Pick on someone your own size




Cheap, yes, but effective.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatdanny
Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while fucking you in the eye. Brutal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadude
I coated the end of a toothpick with Satan's blood and simply wiped it across the top of an omelet. PERFECT!
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  #17  
Old 2006-06-08, 15:02
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tchambliss
Nothing personal but I think I would rather hit myself in the head. . .. I did it every day when my old piano instructor would say "What do you get when a piano falls down a mine shaft- a flat minor" and the whole "all cows eat what?" and then answer "not hay. . . but what, grass". . . . . I seriously wanted to strangle that guys when he did that crap sometimes. .. . .

Hahaha
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  #18  
Old 2006-06-12, 23:01
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Quote:
Originally Posted by davie_gravy
Think it's suppose to be a way to remember the notes on the treble clef or something like that.

ya itz teh basz cl3ff N00BZ0RZ
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  #19  
Old 2006-06-14, 20:21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I-Heart-Hate
ya itz teh basz cl3ff N00BZ0RZ


The only thing gayer that that response is all the jokes in this thread.

Not that they were meant to be funny, but. My old guitar teacher was a jazz guitarist, and he was a douche bag, and made alot of jokes like that. Its painful that I was paying to listen to that for a half an hour.
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  #20  
Old 2006-06-15, 02:57
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dissection
The only thing gayer that that response is all the jokes in this thread.

Not that they were meant to be funny, but. My old guitar teacher was a jazz guitarist, and he was a douche bag, and made alot of jokes like that. Its painful that I was paying to listen to that for a half an hour.



Awwwww, der der lil DiSs3cTi0n lolz.

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Awwww Awwww swweetie willy dissection awww so cute. What a cutie pie.

Awwwwww feel better honey?
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