2006-06-03, 04:50
|
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,739
|
|
|
Maybe you could add a stanza about how the wall feels.
(wall)
Their sex up against my plastered surface
smearing bodily fluids against my white finish
Something like that.
|
2006-06-03, 06:36
|
 |
The Man Who Is, MGI.
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 2,220
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by blizzard_beast
Maybe you could add a stanza about how the wall feels.
(wall)
Their sex up against my plastered surface
smearing bodily fluids against my white finish
Something like that.
|
(wall)
Their bodies rub against my hard self
The friction arouses me and bring me close to climax
Quickly i unleash a shot of concrete particles
__________________
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by ImBored
I feel a bit arabic spending 30 minutes in the toilet.
|
|
2006-06-03, 13:46
|
|
My Ass, Your Face
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,557
|
|
|
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???!!!!!!!!
__________________
A little section of Requiem's "I finally got laid" posts.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Requiem
Wore her out before I could finish(which im grateful for)
|
Funeral Mulch; My brutal death metal band from West Michigan. |
2006-06-03, 16:10
|
|
Drunken Yeti God
Alumni Staff
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: BangHer, Washington
Posts: 2,819
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Zionist
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???!!!!!!!!
|
The greatest poem ever written.
__________________
Fuck Brad and everyone who looks like Brad. From the looks of this picture, I think he's jerking off too much. Keep him away from LouAnne.
I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2's.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
You really have no dignity. I would rather have sex with my fifty year old father.
|
|
2006-06-03, 16:40
|
 |
HES BAAACK
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,967
|
|
whoever wrote this never learned the proper names for men and women's oragns!!! theyre all refered to as "sex"
edit
hAHAHA THE AUTHOR
__________________
www.myspace.com/crownedmusic
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j136/transient_shirts/Banner.gif
|
2006-06-03, 22:55
|
 |
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Brisbane, Australia.
Posts: 1,024
|
|
|
It's the archaic name for sexual organs.
I think it's time to offer thoughful criticism. This is boring. You make sex sound BORING. You went too far into the details, this poem has no point except to say "I got laid in a very slightly kinky way". I actually noticed that you detract from the meaning of your other lyrics a lot by going too far into descriptions of actions.
You're saying what's happening and now what people actually feel emotionally and barely go into the physical stuff. There is a painful inconsistency in language, breasts and butt don't go together, but breasts and sex do. Buttocks, behind, whatever. Boobs, vagina, cunt, fuckbox, tits, jesus h fuck man there are better words to describe things like that.
This entire poem is pointless. Almost everyone has sex, or had it. This isn't very exciting. It's not hot, or romantic, or gory. It's accidentally funny.
PS. OOH IS NOT A WORD!
__________________
I <3 12 year olds.
|
2006-06-04, 13:10
|
 |
slack as fuck
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Goddamn maritimes..
Posts: 3,396
|
|
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Transient
whoever wrote this never learned the proper names for men and women's oragns!!! theyre all refered to as "sex"
edit
hAHAHA THE AUTHOR |
HAHAHAHA
__________________
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Soulinsane
Bottle of Vodka, $25
Fucking on the couch while posting on Metaltabs and getting caught by your mother....
Priceless!  |
|
2006-06-04, 19:51
|
|
Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Iceland
Posts: 98
|
|
Morbidly hilarious. Brilliant shit you got going on there, keep it up 
Read it stoned, 
edit: Seriously!
He fucks me hard like a wall
I feel a short of breath
I start to feel his finger
slide into my butt while in my sex
then my breath begins to shorten
pacing faster then hard
and I let on last word escape my lips
"ohh!"
Oh, who hasn't been there?
Last edited by Otiz : 2006-06-04 at 21:11.
|
2006-06-06, 13:25
|
 |
Senior Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hell
Posts: 271
|
|
|
Awesome
I just read this at work and I'm having the hardest time not cracking up out loud and sounding like a lunatic. (I'm pretending to cough.)
Anway, what that hell is this???
I start to feel his finger
slide into my butt while in my sex
HAHAHAAHAHAA!
There's nothing more romantic or erotic than the word BUTT.
|
2006-06-06, 20:31
|
 |
Supreme Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: D-town biatch!
Posts: 755
|
|
|
AHHHAHAHAA....
You don't know what you've done dude!! Yesterday me and some friends were driving around and my friend saw this hot chick and yelled out "I want to bang my sex into yours!".. He e-mailed you through myspace too lmfao "I was bored".. Niiiice....
__________________
http://soundcloud.com/white-t
|
2006-06-06, 20:34
|
|
Post-whore
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 4,739
|
|
I was about to have a wank, and then I re-read his poem. It totally killed my buzz.  |
2006-06-08, 13:59
|
|
Senior Metalhead
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Hell
Posts: 271
|
|
|
I told my girlfriend I wanted to bang my sex into hers. She just laughed. There was no sex banging. No wall banging either.
|
2006-06-08, 17:23
|
|
Forum Daemon
Forum Leader
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2001
Posts: 4,985
|
|
|
All right, we've had our fun.
|
| Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
|
| Rate This Thread |
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:19.
|
