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  #21  
Old 2006-06-03, 04:50
blizzard_beast blizzard_beast is offline
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Maybe you could add a stanza about how the wall feels.

(wall)
Their sex up against my plastered surface
smearing bodily fluids against my white finish

Something like that.
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  #22  
Old 2006-06-03, 06:36
Robbie Filth's Avatar
Robbie Filth Robbie Filth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blizzard_beast
Maybe you could add a stanza about how the wall feels.

(wall)
Their sex up against my plastered surface
smearing bodily fluids against my white finish

Something like that.



(wall)
Their bodies rub against my hard self
The friction arouses me and bring me close to climax
Quickly i unleash a shot of concrete particles

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I feel a bit arabic spending 30 minutes in the toilet.
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  #23  
Old 2006-06-03, 13:46
Zionist Zionist is offline
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WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???!!!!!!!!
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A little section of Requiem's "I finally got laid" posts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Wore her out before I could finish(which im grateful for)


Funeral Mulch; My brutal death metal band from West Michigan.
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  #24  
Old 2006-06-03, 16:10
walpurgis walpurgis is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zionist
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS???!!!!!!!!



The greatest poem ever written.
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Fuck Brad and everyone who looks like Brad. From the looks of this picture, I think he's jerking off too much. Keep him away from LouAnne.

I never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2's.

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Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
You really have no dignity. I would rather have sex with my fifty year old father.
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  #25  
Old 2006-06-03, 16:40
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Transient Transient is offline
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whoever wrote this never learned the proper names for men and women's oragns!!! theyre all refered to as "sex"


edit

hAHAHA THE AUTHOR
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  #26  
Old 2006-06-03, 22:55
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BrokenCrimson BrokenCrimson is offline
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It's the archaic name for sexual organs.

I think it's time to offer thoughful criticism. This is boring. You make sex sound BORING. You went too far into the details, this poem has no point except to say "I got laid in a very slightly kinky way". I actually noticed that you detract from the meaning of your other lyrics a lot by going too far into descriptions of actions.

You're saying what's happening and now what people actually feel emotionally and barely go into the physical stuff. There is a painful inconsistency in language, breasts and butt don't go together, but breasts and sex do. Buttocks, behind, whatever. Boobs, vagina, cunt, fuckbox, tits, jesus h fuck man there are better words to describe things like that.

This entire poem is pointless. Almost everyone has sex, or had it. This isn't very exciting. It's not hot, or romantic, or gory. It's accidentally funny.

PS. OOH IS NOT A WORD!
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  #27  
Old 2006-06-04, 13:10
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newHELLonEARTH newHELLonEARTH is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Transient
whoever wrote this never learned the proper names for men and women's oragns!!! theyre all refered to as "sex"


edit

hAHAHA THE AUTHOR

HAHAHAHA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulinsane
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Fucking on the couch while posting on Metaltabs and getting caught by your mother....

Priceless!
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  #28  
Old 2006-06-04, 19:51
Otiz Otiz is offline
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Morbidly hilarious. Brilliant shit you got going on there, keep it up

Read it stoned,

edit: Seriously!
He fucks me hard like a wall
I feel a short of breath
I start to feel his finger
slide into my butt while in my sex
then my breath begins to shorten
pacing faster then hard
and I let on last word escape my lips
"ohh!"

Oh, who hasn't been there?

Last edited by Otiz : 2006-06-04 at 21:11.
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  #29  
Old 2006-06-06, 13:25
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Awesome

I just read this at work and I'm having the hardest time not cracking up out loud and sounding like a lunatic. (I'm pretending to cough.)

Anway, what that hell is this???

I start to feel his finger
slide into my butt while in my sex

HAHAHAAHAHAA!

There's nothing more romantic or erotic than the word BUTT.
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  #30  
Old 2006-06-06, 20:31
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travI56669 travI56669 is offline
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AHHHAHAHAA....


You don't know what you've done dude!! Yesterday me and some friends were driving around and my friend saw this hot chick and yelled out "I want to bang my sex into yours!".. He e-mailed you through myspace too lmfao "I was bored".. Niiiice....
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  #31  
Old 2006-06-06, 20:34
blizzard_beast blizzard_beast is offline
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I was about to have a wank, and then I re-read his poem. It totally killed my buzz.
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  #32  
Old 2006-06-08, 13:59
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I told my girlfriend I wanted to bang my sex into hers. She just laughed. There was no sex banging. No wall banging either.
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  #33  
Old 2006-06-08, 17:23
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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All right, we've had our fun.
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