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  #1  
Old 2006-03-24, 16:43
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timedragon timedragon is offline
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sailing north

Ive stood above the water
And with the wind, found my wings
Beyond the shore
Dreams are dreamt
So we sail out
With glory in our hearts

On the deck, tales are told
Of magic times, and fire breathing dragons
In the stories, courage is taught
On the plains, battles are fought

Legend tells us, we meet again
In a hall lined with spears
By day we train
By night we drink
A toast of honey to the mighty chosen ones.

(EDIT: in case someone misses it below, for some stupid reason. and so its together)

Oh, there’s a stirring in the water
A wake of fury within the murky depth
Graying skies are closing all around
The seal of fate will not be bound this day

Lo, a thunder trembles all
And from the clouds strikes a mighty force
A flash of light, the hammer soars
To strike the beast
As he retreats, he roars!
END.

Last edited by timedragon : 2006-04-26 at 01:59.
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  #2  
Old 2006-03-24, 17:13
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koglos koglos is offline
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You are asking if you should repeat sets of lyrics; the real question you need to ask yourself is, do you have anything more to say? Does the above represent the entire message you want to convey through this song? If so, then maybe it's legit to repeat it in order to accompany the guitar riffs already written. If not, then sit down with a pen, a paper, a bag of weed perhaps, and put yourself back into the song and write some more ....
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  #3  
Old 2006-03-24, 18:15
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timedragon timedragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by koglos
You are asking if you should repeat sets of lyrics; the real question you need to ask yourself is, do you have anything more to say? Does the above represent the entire message you want to convey through this song? If so, then maybe it's legit to repeat it in order to accompany the guitar riffs already written. If not, then sit down with a pen, a paper, a bag of weed perhaps, and put yourself back into the song and write some more ....

thanks man. i actually enjoyed that post. and i forgot something very important, there is a completely different section in the middle, before the soloing, and it needs vocals for sure.
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  #4  
Old 2006-03-24, 21:01
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Something more than what you've posted here? Add the verse so we can see it if that's what you meant.

Yes! It's perfectly acceptable to repeat. Sometimes the melody or tone of the piece changes or something can be emphasized with repetition.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #5  
Old 2006-03-24, 21:09
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timedragon timedragon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Something more than what you've posted here?

actually i meant that i forgot to write the lyrics for the mid section

but i will definately add them here once ive got them. i like this song so far, so ill be working on it soon.
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  #6  
Old 2006-03-24, 21:52
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That's cool. Just a suggestion? Throw some "meat and taters" in there to give it more bite. What you have isn't bad, but it needs something to make it a little grittier storyline.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #7  
Old 2006-04-23, 15:44
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Weiya Weiya is offline
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hey man,you rock.I hope you can put the lyrics very well into the song (they make every viking feel gloryful) cause it really owns,.Just the last line makes no sense,sounds very funny though,:P
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  #8  
Old 2006-04-23, 16:07
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Very viking, very viking indeed. I especially like the finding wings part. I didn't know vikings trained on ships though, I just thought they played a lot of chess and told tales and drank beer and sometimes hunted walrus and then drank more beer. You'd know more though, so I believe you

My biggest problem with this song is the general lack of conflict, it feels more like a setting for a much bigger story than a complete lyric, but it's your song so you're allowed whatever floats your Drakkar.
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  #9  
Old 2006-04-23, 16:24
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Vikings were all sea-faring people, explorers, traders, warriors etc. well at least thats what i have read. Apparantly peoples view of a Viking has changed and now its though of wrongly according to the origionation of the term.

great lyrics Trey, i really enjoyed them; especially

"Ive stood above the water
And with the wind, found my wings"

thats brilliant
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-grindcore (featuring newHELLonEARTH)- Krossa
-"Neo-Classical Heathen Folk"- Ellylldan
-experimental/middle eastern themed/folk/ambient- Soft Temple
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  #10  
Old 2006-04-25, 15:48
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timedragon timedragon is offline
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@Weiya: thanks. the last line makes sense, mead was the alcoholic drink vikings drank, and it was made out of honey.

@Autumncurve: thanks sam

@BC: hah, you goof, the third verse is not on the ship anymore . the "hall lined with spears" is Valhalla. thats where im saying the training is done. great avatar

EDIT: here is the last part i said i needed to add, it goes good with the guitar on the song.

Oh, there’s a stirring in the water
A wake of fury within the murky depth
Graying skies are closing all around
The seal of fate will not be bound this day

Lo, a thunder trembles all
And from the clouds strikes a mighty force
A flash of light, the hammer soars
To strike the beast
As he retreats, he roars!

Last edited by timedragon : 2006-04-25 at 18:26.
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  #11  
Old 2006-04-25, 19:55
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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That's not bad. I think the new second part is much stronger in imagery than the first one, but it sounds like it would be pretty cool together.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #12  
Old 2006-04-26, 15:13
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Weiya Weiya is offline
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haha,I didn't knew this,still need to learn much about vikings.Anyway,your second part is very well written ,and it seems to fit to the other part of the lyrics well,
Keep up the good work,quite inspriring stuff
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  #13  
Old 2006-04-26, 15:21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timedragon
Lo, a thunder trembles all
And from the clouds strikes a mighty force
A flash of light, the hammer soars
To strike the beast
As he retreats, he roars!


dude...thats just fucking awesome, i raise my tankard to you
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R.I.P. Mieszko Talarczyk
1974 - 2004


Quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs. malicious
someone's a little behind

Quote:
Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
I'll take you from behind!


-grindcore (featuring newHELLonEARTH)- Krossa
-"Neo-Classical Heathen Folk"- Ellylldan
-experimental/middle eastern themed/folk/ambient- Soft Temple
-experimental/post rock/downtempo- Silence Over Okhotsk
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  #14  
Old 2006-04-26, 15:30
walpurgis walpurgis is offline
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Pretty cool man. I like the weird viking power metal theme, and since you had me listen to the music you're putting it to, they'll probably mesh quite nicely.
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  #15  
Old 2006-04-27, 14:03
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timedragon timedragon is offline
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wow, thanks everyone
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  #16  
Old 2006-04-28, 05:28
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BrokenCrimson BrokenCrimson is offline
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Oh ooopps

The sea monster part rawks.
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