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  #1  
Old 2006-03-21, 04:52
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Infinity Infinity is offline
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Hypocrite

Misspent sentiment.
Wishing and wanting.
Just to see
A Goddess without followers
Fall to her self proclaimed enemies!
[Mockery is conceived in me, parody is what I see.]
It's the will I can't believe.

Last edited by Infinity : 2006-03-21 at 04:57.
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  #2  
Old 2006-03-21, 04:57
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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I don't see the utility of 'self-proclaimed' in the final line. Even so, I like this one.
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  #3  
Old 2006-03-21, 04:59
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Ack, I edited it as you replied so maybe you wont like the edit version -

However to my knowledge proclaim means to make public knowledge of, it dosn't necessarily mean that you yourself proclaimed it so self proclamation fits best [I looked up the exact meanings to proclaim before using it in case I did get the double negative you are sus about] I think self proclaimed is justified.
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  #4  
Old 2006-03-21, 12:26
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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'Self-proclaimed' does mean what you think it does, but it has the same connotation as something like 'so-called,' which is why I questioned it.

I like the new lines. I'm not sure I like it all together.
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  #5  
Old 2006-03-21, 14:04
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It is quite grand in its lexicon. 'Self-proclaimed' works better.

Good shit!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatdanny
Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while fucking you in the eye. Brutal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadude
I coated the end of a toothpick with Satan's blood and simply wiped it across the top of an omelet. PERFECT!
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  #6  
Old 2006-03-21, 14:06
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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Self-proclaimed only works better (than what? I didn't propose any alternative) if he means it to read that these people are only her enemies within their own mind.

You really need to reconsider how you use 'lexicon,' among many, many other of the words you use. Learn usage, then comment on it.
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  #7  
Old 2006-03-21, 14:11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
Self-proclaimed only works better (than what? I didn't propose any alternative) if he means it to read that these people are only her enemies within their own mind.

You really need to reconsider how you use 'lexicon,' among many, many other of the words you use. Learn usage, then comment on it.


Sorry, instead of 'so-called'. I would use 'so-called' in a more aggressive context.

Lexicon? I thought that was an appropriate use of that word. Tell me why not. I may be wrong with it. I learn a lot of my vocab' from translating words into ancient Greek and Latin.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatdanny
Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while fucking you in the eye. Brutal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadude
I coated the end of a toothpick with Satan's blood and simply wiped it across the top of an omelet. PERFECT!
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  #8  
Old 2006-03-21, 17:46
PST 88 PST 88 is offline
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Ah, yeah, it's better than 'so-called,' but I wasn't suggesting that as an alternative. I was pointing out that it had a similar connotation.

You use 'lexicon' as though it were more or less synonymous with 'vocabulary,' which it isn't in most cases. In this case, this is an individual piece. It does not have a lexicon. Maybe Infinity's body of work as a whole does. But I think you just mean word choice or syntax.

The Latin/Greek thing explains a lot. That would be well and good if English made sense as a language. But it's a clusterfuck, and doesn't, so we can't use other languages, even cognate words from them, as guidelines for English usage.
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  #9  
Old 2006-03-30, 14:05
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
Ah, yeah, it's better than 'so-called,' but I wasn't suggesting that as an alternative. I was pointing out that it had a similar connotation.

You use 'lexicon' as though it were more or less synonymous with 'vocabulary,' which it isn't in most cases. In this case, this is an individual piece. It does not have a lexicon. Maybe Infinity's body of work as a whole does. But I think you just mean word choice or syntax.

The Latin/Greek thing explains a lot. That would be well and good if English made sense as a language. But it's a clusterfuck, and doesn't, so we can't use other languages, even cognate words from them, as guidelines for English usage.


Yeah, true. English usage is a bit of a clusterfuck. English is also hugely expressive and can reach a level of detail that many other languages can't.
I suppose it depends if there is a specific perspective and perception in Infinity's work if lexicon is the correct word, or just a compulsion to use certain words or jargons.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fatdanny
Also, check out Autopsy, the vocalist sounds like hes about to eat your grandmother while fucking you in the eye. Brutal.


Quote:
Originally Posted by floridadude
I coated the end of a toothpick with Satan's blood and simply wiped it across the top of an omelet. PERFECT!
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  #10  
Old 2006-03-30, 14:29
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Maybe, to start moving outside of the authors own instruction, there is a value in the fact that self-procalimed means both things. It certainly contains more interesting aspects of the aspects of hypocrisy, saving hypocrisy666's prescence.
Short and conscise with a somewhat unusual structure; I think you have produced something pretty interesting here.
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  #11  
Old 2006-03-30, 16:52
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I like it. Has some good "golden lines" (4 and 7)
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