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  #1  
Old 2006-02-15, 18:05
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Tulvox Tulvox is offline
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"The Andrew Rhiger Song"

"The Andrew Rhiger Song"
Jacob Fitzlaff
2/15/2006

You're fat and queer,
And I can tell you're here,
Because you reek of body odor.

You get really mad,
Because I call you a fag,
But you know it's true.

Your face can't be seen,
It's been conquered by acne,
Because you're hideous and fat and gay.

You play D&D
Because you think it makes you seem deep,
But inside you just want cock.

You think sex is gross,
Because you can't get it up.
Your gut is on weighing it down.

You pretend to be smart,
But you don't know shit,
Except how to please your father.

You wear your mom's clothes,
Whenever you're alone,
But always forget a bra in public. (Where you need it.)

You shave your legs,
And lick other men,
And cry because everyone hates you.

Your name is Andrew Rhiger,
And you're a piece of shit.
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  #2  
Old 2006-02-15, 18:18
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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The only gripe I have is about the consistency of the ends of the lines. For awhile there was a rhyme thing going on and I was sort of disappointed it didn't continue, but the sarcastic humor made up for it. Some of it made me laugh out loud.

Who is Andrew Rhiger?
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #3  
Old 2006-02-15, 18:24
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Tulvox Tulvox is offline
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The guy who sits in front of me in biology and talks about D&D, smells bad, proclaims that sex is evil, has terrible acne, and has this "Holier Than Thou" attitude that makes me want to punch him.

Edit: And by punch, I mean stab through the face with a tire iron and piss in his mouth afterwards.
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  #4  
Old 2006-02-15, 18:42
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Hmm, that sounds like a metal song. Maybe you should have worked that in somewhere.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #5  
Old 2006-02-15, 22:40
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You hate him so much your prosody and rhyme scheme degraded, eh? Pretty cool if that was the reason. If not, then you should redo it. Nothing says hatred so well as carefully planning something out and executing it perfectly. Really, this would probably be most fun as a villanelle, with sufficiently nasty end lines.
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  #6  
Old 2006-02-16, 03:42
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What PST said is exactly right I think.

"Nothing says hatred so well as carefully planning something out and executing it perfectly."

Think of voodoo majick and black arts while doing it
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  #7  
Old 2006-02-16, 23:25
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This is hilariously awesome. I know a couple guys like this. Or close to it.
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...Its very annoying to keep having to hear some socially-disabled teen come on these boards talking about all the drugs he's started doing so that he can maybe grasp onto some kind of positive response so he feels better about himself and what he's doing.
About requiem. Aint it the truth...
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