MetalTabs.com - your source for Metal tabs
Home Forum What's New Submit a Tab FAQ Links Contact Us Link to Us


Go Back   MetalTabs.com Forum > Metal > Poetry Lyrical
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  #1  
Old 2005-11-06, 13:15
Amadeus's Avatar
Amadeus Amadeus is offline
Quantum.
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,142
Questionable

This is a spoken intro to a song I'm currently working at. It's the first whole lyric section and I thought it might be interesting to hear the oppininons of some metal heads too.
Well, without further ado:

God, holy father
Hallowed may be thy name
Thy kingdom might come
But that certanity is still a long way off
Our daily bread, a question of luck
So forgive us for forgetting
For the shortest of moments
That thy world is a trial
And lead us not into temptation
For our legs works just fine
In our short strife
To make the world
A fun place to be us in
__________________
Listening to Slipknot and cutting yourself is ridiculous
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 2005-11-06, 13:23
Transient's Avatar
Transient Transient is offline
HES BAAACK
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: slaying all the giants
Posts: 9,964
dude thats the best lyric ive ever seen on here, no exaggeration

lead us not into temptation, for our legs work just fine!!!!!
__________________
www.myspace.com/crownedmusic
http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j136/transient_shirts/Banner.gif
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 2005-11-06, 19:35
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,866
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
It took a second read for me to get the flow, but for reason I found it a bit sarcastically humorous. Not that that's a bad thing. It sounds okay to me, but get that extra 's' out of the phrase Tranny liked. I liked that part, too.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 2005-11-07, 07:52
Amadeus's Avatar
Amadeus Amadeus is offline
Quantum.
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,142
Ah well, spelling correction done. Yes, it is meant as a humourous piece; it is a humourous ballad!
__________________
Listening to Slipknot and cutting yourself is ridiculous
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 2005-11-07, 08:24
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,866
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
Okay, there Weird Al II. Show us what ya got!
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 2005-11-07, 17:38
Amadeus's Avatar
Amadeus Amadeus is offline
Quantum.
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,142
WHAT?! Me scared by suchy remarks! Umm... where you refering to the rest of the song? Haven't finished it yet.
__________________
Listening to Slipknot and cutting yourself is ridiculous
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 2005-11-07, 18:44
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,866
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
No, I didn't think you were scared. Yeah, I was.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 2005-11-08, 15:18
Amadeus's Avatar
Amadeus Amadeus is offline
Quantum.
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,142
Well well, when it's finished I'll be sure to publish it here first of all.
__________________
Listening to Slipknot and cutting yourself is ridiculous
Listening to Cannibal Corpse and cutting trees with a chainsaw, now that's metal

"He preferred the hard truth over his dearest illusion. That, is the heart of science."
- Carl Sagan

"Imagination is more important than intelligence" - Einstein
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 17:38.


========

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001-2009 MetalTabs.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.