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Old 2005-08-06, 18:13
Exodus666
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The onset of winter

My project is blackmetal, best described as: in the style of Immortals "At the heart of winter" and "Sons of Northern Darkness".

I wrote a lyric for the first song, with the help of someone else (some phrases). Also pretty much Immortal-like. The first three paragraphs are repeated again at the end of the song (as a main verse and chorus).

If anyone feels like writing fantasy stuff like this, PM me. I have serious problems with inspiration.

Please comment

THE ONSET OF WINTER

From the northern mountains great
along the vastness of the sky
rigid winds bearing the plague
of coldness and of dark demise

When the twilight's passing by
Darkened clouds gather near, the storm's prelude
to the call of winter - in lands below
Below me, the world is suffering

Valleys covered in a blanket of ice and frost
mortal creatures paralyzed - afraid of the darkest of nights
which one will be the last - to survive the onset of winter?

Engulfing all warmth and sublunar light
The cold midwintermoon - ruler of the night
Its unforgiving gaze - roaming across the lands
Snowfields glimmering in the paleness of decay

A dark wintry bed of withering
lies upon these forsaken domains
in this world, and in worlds beyond
for Death to roam, to Hope unknown
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Old 2005-08-06, 18:49
sqol's Avatar
sqol
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I like it, the writing seems natural and not forced. The imagery is good and i think the 4th section is brilliant

Good stuff!
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The Freedom of Chaos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undone
moonraven?....more like ass raven
 
Old 2005-08-06, 19:31
Exodus666
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Wow, thanks, hehe. I didn't expect such a positive comment! Glad you appreciate it. I'm just a bit afraid that people might say it's an Immortal rip-off...
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Old 2005-08-06, 19:56
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sqol
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I can see the similarity, but its still good nonetheless
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The Freedom of Chaos
The Secret of The Secret
The Truth of The Truth

Quote:
Originally Posted by Undone
moonraven?....more like ass raven
 
Old 2005-08-06, 23:06
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
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I can't see the similarity because I'm unfamiliar with their lyrics so I will say that I enjoyed reading this. It has a very icy feel to it. Your flow of thoughts was good and the images depicting the doubting, fearful life forms was good, too. I also liked the way you presented the phrases. It made it easy to get a good flow from on the first read.
Nice job.
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Old 2005-08-07, 00:13
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Dissection
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Exodus666
I'm just a bit afraid that people might say it's an Immortal rip-off...


You've obviously never heard Dimmu Borgir's material then.
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Old 2005-08-07, 06:35
Exodus666
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Thanks again, Sqol and LB'XXX!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dissection
You've obviously never heard Dimmu Borgir's material then.

Haha, well, I think their lyrics are quite ok, but it's not coherent enough for me. Sometimes seems like a bunch of words thrown together.
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Old 2005-08-07, 14:42
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8/10


I can see the Immortal influence,but thats not a put down cause if I wrote lyrics that would be similar to what I'd write.Good job bro.
 
Old 2005-08-07, 19:56
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newHELLonEARTH
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i liked it.. not my kind of style but very good
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