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  #1  
Old 2005-06-18, 03:18
\m/Eat At Joe's\m/'s Avatar
\m/Eat At Joe's\m/ \m/Eat At Joe's\m/ is offline
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Here's some of my lyrics....

How's this?

----------------------------
Firestorm of hate burns
Of darkness' blackest origin
Products of rejection spurned
Agony-purged of sin
Borne on deathly winds

CHORUS:
Winds of pain devour you
Tearing your essence
Tearing you limb from limb

Rejoice in your downfall
Deepest fear made flesh
Inherit torment's throne
Land of suffering
Conquest of mortal world

CHORUS

Darkness brings plague
Disease through the mind
Death disguised
Inexorable path of terror
Casts its shadow

Bleeding you cruelly
Tearing you limb from limb......

-----------------------------
(Here's another one....)
-----------------------------
Deceit born out of
Blind faith-grand inquisitor
Condemning all that deviates
Damning all that is corrupt
As dictated by corrupt minds
Blind to reality
Of many paths to the truth...

Ensuring nothing is veiled from sight
Ensuring lives are controlled by lies
Lying to preserve a hierarchy
Deceit in order to preserve
infatuation with absolute power
Pathalogical craving for control
Control of our mind
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  #2  
Old 2005-06-18, 12:35
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I liked the second one better than the first. I think it was tighter and more controlled. I don't know why, but the first one just lacked something to me. It's probably not a good idea to listen to the Clancy Brothers when reading things like this though either. lol
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #3  
Old 2005-06-18, 15:08
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I'm gonna go 8/10 for both.
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  #4  
Old 2005-06-22, 12:49
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IRON90 IRON90 is offline
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Really nice lyrics. Both of them.
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  #5  
Old 2005-07-12, 03:51
\m/Eat At Joe's\m/'s Avatar
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Thanks, people.
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  #6  
Old 2005-07-12, 09:08
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LordofStorms LordofStorms is offline
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5/10

9/10

Your second one was great.
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  #7  
Old 2005-07-16, 01:46
\m/Eat At Joe's\m/'s Avatar
\m/Eat At Joe's\m/ \m/Eat At Joe's\m/ is offline
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Wow, thanks. 9 out of 10? I must be doing something right....
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  #8  
Old 2005-07-16, 08:58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by \m/Eat At Joe's\m/
Wow, thanks. 9 out of 10? I must be doing something right....

Of course you are! You're at metaltabs P/L forum, aren't you?
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #9  
Old 2005-07-17, 19:23
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yes it was nice, i'd be on this forum if i were actually good at lyrics..
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  #10  
Old 2005-07-17, 20:10
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I could never judge if mine were any good, but I got lots of A's in Petry class in school and a few people liked what I wrote years later. This forum and tc are great for getting some ideas from others about how to perfect your skills. I found a mentor that tried to read inside and out, and I'm still learning a lot from their pieces.
You may get closer to something very satisfying the more you practice, and sometimes someone here can point out a small thing that really make it perfect.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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