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  #1  
Old 2005-06-09, 11:50
L,B'XXX's Avatar
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"The Silver Line"

Just feeling this one. I think it could be a mellow song done melodically with or without background music.

"The Silver Line"

I fell into the world of dreams that I couldn't awaken from.
Toying with threads so silvery and smooth
That slid through my fingers so easily.
I could wind them and drape them,
Gaze starry-eyed at them as eyes do when first awakening,
Or when that point of exhaustion is reached.
One as much the same as the other.
Taking steps to the edge
To feel what's at the end of the line.
Tugging gently and tightening my grip
Like reins laced delicately through my fingers.
My eyes can't stay open.
I'm willowlike and deep in a dream all-consuming.
The sparkle of the moonlight shining from the threads
Like strings of stars that dance through my eyes.

BJH
6/9/2005
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #2  
Old 2005-06-10, 07:27
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Nice I think there should be a keyboard in the background with choir patch on it doing slow chord-transitions, and a single acoustic guitar doing some slow strummed chords, i can hear it in my head now

It feels like a really delicately put together piece, a good choice of words- makes for pleasant reading

Good work!
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The Freedom of Chaos
The Secret of The Secret
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Undone
moonraven?....more like ass raven

Last edited by sqol : 2005-06-10 at 07:29.
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  #3  
Old 2005-06-10, 10:46
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Thank you. I like your idea for music. If you have the means and desire to do something with it I'd like to hear it with some music.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #4  
Old 2005-06-10, 14:49
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Christ, I haven't posted here in a long time.

You painted a beautiful picture mommy, I'm proud
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Even drones can fly away.
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  #5  
Old 2005-06-10, 17:46
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Thank you, dear. You may have a cookie.

NOW GO WRITE SOMETHING!!!
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #6  
Old 2005-06-11, 00:17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Thank you, dear. You may have a cookie.

NOW GO WRITE SOMETHING!!!

lol.. that was a good peom.. im still working on a poem too, just having a little bit of writers block. u know.
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  #7  
Old 2005-06-12, 07:30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YJM04
lol.. that was a good peom.. im still working on a poem too, just having a little bit of writers block. u know.


"Thank you, dear. You may have a cookie.

NOW GO WRITE SOMETHING!!!"

I see you did, but I had to say it again.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #8  
Old 2005-06-14, 20:07
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very pretty. Makes you wanna get cozy.
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  #9  
Old 2005-06-14, 20:19
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Thanks bangbangx. You've had enough cookies though. Glad you joined us here.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #10  
Old 2005-06-14, 20:32
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very nice
im gonna start writing lyrics
when i can think of somethin
i guess some people have just got it
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One hundred years have gone and men again they came that way,
To find the answer to the mystery,
They found his body lying where it fell on that day,
Preserved in time for all to see,
No brave new world, no brave new world,
Lost in this place, and leave no trace.

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  #11  
Old 2005-06-14, 20:39
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go to sleep with music on. it works!! thats what i do
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  #12  
Old 2005-06-14, 20:40
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cool i will
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One hundred years have gone and men again they came that way,
To find the answer to the mystery,
They found his body lying where it fell on that day,
Preserved in time for all to see,
No brave new world, no brave new world,
Lost in this place, and leave no trace.

iron maiden - stranger in a strange land
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