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  #1  
Old 2005-05-27, 18:47
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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" Mine was Bigger "

Okay, I had to throw this here, too. It's my 'sport' piece for the writing contest where I mod. I supposeit would be rather amusing done Metallica styled, but when I read it I keep hearing this twang. Thanks for reading.

" Mine was Bigger "

"Mine was bigger" --that's what they all say
But it's always the one that got away
So I take my tape and my camera, too
To show mine's really bigger than you

I had to really fight to get it out
But when I did the crowd let out a shout
They'd never seen such a glorious thing
It flopped around like it was on a spring

It would barely fit into my hand
I had to cleverly try to stand
Because it was so long and smooth
Sometimes only two hands would do

On the table I laid it out for all the masses
The crowd even gazed through their spy glasses
I'm not bragging to be mean
But it's the biggest catfish you ever seen

BJH
5/27/2005
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #2  
Old 2005-05-31, 09:52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Okay, I had to throw this here, too. It's my 'sport' piece for the writing contest where I mod. I supposeit would be rather amusing done Metallica styled, but when I read it I keep hearing this twang. Thanks for reading.

" Mine was Bigger "

"Mine was bigger" --that's what they all say
But it's always the one that got away
So I take my tape and my camera, too
To show mine's really bigger than you

I had to really fight to get it out
But when I did the crowd let out a shout
They'd never seen such a glorious thing
It flopped around like it was on a spring

It would barely fit into my hand
I had to cleverly try to stand
Because it was so long and smooth
Sometimes only two hands would do

On the table I laid it out for all the masses
The crowd even gazed through their spy glasses
I'm not bragging to be mean
But it's the biggest catfish you ever seen

BJH
5/27/2005


THAT WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how did u come up with that?
good job,keep up the good work
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  #3  
Old 2005-05-31, 10:56
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A warped sense of humor and a love of fishing? I'm nuts and senile? Take your pick. And thanks for the comment. I'm glad you liked it.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #4  
Old 2005-05-31, 12:29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
A warped sense of humor and a love of fishing? I'm nuts and senile? Take your pick. And thanks for the comment. I'm glad you liked it.

make another like that. i almost pissed myself.
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  #5  
Old 2005-05-31, 13:17
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I'll take that as a compliment even if you are only 13. (Why do I believe that a few people around here lie about their ages?)

You're bound to see something as silly sometime or other from me. When it strikes, I write. Thanks again.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #6  
Old 2005-05-31, 15:04
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
I'll take that as a compliment even if you are only 13. (Why do I believe that a few people around here lie about their ages?)

You're bound to see something as silly sometime or other from me. When it strikes, I write. Thanks again.

no, im not lying about my age. i'll try and write a funny song too. if i can think of anything that is
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  #7  
Old 2005-05-31, 19:13
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Well, our contest was to write something about "sport." It didn't matter what kind or what definition of the word. I wrote the first 2 lines and looked at them periodically for a couple days. Then I came up with several parts to the verses and put them in the most logical order. I had to alter a little here and there to smooth the flow more. It took some doing, but that was the finished product.

One of my boys and I used to fish a lot together and I happened to see him online recently. He had his webcam on when I sent it to him and I saw him get a big smile at the end. He said he liked it. And he's the reason I started writing again several years ago so I really like hearing his opinion.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #8  
Old 2005-05-31, 19:14
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Pick a topic that catches your interest and see if you can twist it into something it isn't. Even if it's obvious in the beginning as to what it's about if you can get the reader's attention so they want to finish it or want more as you said you did, then you've done a pretty good job. My mom said Blue Collar tv recently had a sketch where they talked about "decks" only that's not what it sounded like they were talking about. That's another example.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #9  
Old 2005-05-31, 19:59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Well, our contest was to write something about "sport." It didn't matter what kind or what definition of the word. I wrote the first 2 lines and looked at them periodically for a couple days. Then I came up with several parts to the verses and put them in the most logical order. I had to alter a little here and there to smooth the flow more. It took some doing, but that was the finished product.

One of my boys and I used to fish a lot together and I happened to see him online recently. He had his webcam on when I sent it to him and I saw him get a big smile at the end. He said he liked it. And he's the reason I started writing again several years ago so I really like hearing his opinion.


keep writing, that peom was really really good. once again good job.
it was so beutiful
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  #10  
Old 2005-05-31, 23:01
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That's great.
Growing up fishing....I knew instantly where it was headed....perfect!

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  #11  
Old 2005-06-01, 00:39
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bia
That's great.
Growing up fishing....I knew instantly where it was headed....perfect!



I've only fished twice my whole life, and I could tell. You gave it away with that second line, Bobbi. People don't sit around the campfire talking about their giant cocks that got away!
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  #12  
Old 2005-06-01, 03:43
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Speak for yourself.....
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ROBERT NOWAK FOR PRESIDENT!
OMG ONE MORE THING MY HERO CAN U HELP FIRST RIFF CLOUDED? THANK YOU
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  #13  
Old 2005-06-01, 06:26
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Yeah, really, you haven't been around here! There is no sacred conversation in this house usually.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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