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  #1  
Old 2005-04-28, 22:57
Jamento's Avatar
Jamento Jamento is offline
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this time an actuall poem I wrote, not strong-sad.

I've titled it 'Acid Dream'

wow
im so sick of your plasitc existance
we dwell in a twilight dream where barbed wire fences glisten in a desert sun.
where children play in gasmasks to keep from choking on the poisonouse fog.

one day a child will discover himself. discovering the universe as it once was.
he cleansed doors of perception
the unaltered universe was
free of pain
free of angst
free of war
and in no way altered or perverted
utter innocence which cannot be denied.
infinite.

when he awoke to the flashes of a post apocolyptic warcry
lies and nuclear holocaust.
pain and anguish
the undoubted end of all things to come.
he wept as he came to realize the beauty of things as they once where.

I long to walk the paths of emerald sand.
inbetween light and dark.
where the stretched cold miles bring with them knowledge.
no more money
no more pain
a fameless reality...
a monarchs democracy

where final judgement awaits us all
and then may be devoured by beasts and friends
moonlight serenades
and feline familiars.

and all your seals of paper are easily torn and you are violated.
giving up your self righteouse, multi faced plastic existance
shaken off like spores from a mushroom cap.

die, awake, and remember
it was all just an acid dream.

Written: Wednesday, September 08, 2004, 2:51:31 AM



ok, Be brutal!
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  #2  
Old 2005-04-29, 09:42
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It sounded like a 60's or early 70's piece to me in imagery. I loved the pictures in "I long to walk the paths of emerald sand.
inbetween light and dark.
where the stretched cold miles bring with them knowledge."
That was pretty cool since I'm very found of green as well as emeralds. It was a novel vision for me.
I thought the flow was good and the ideas had a good pattern. I think it would be cool spoken or sung witht the right music.
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Old 2005-04-29, 09:47
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sounds pretty 'down' to me but the use of words is great, could do well with some doomish-metal
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  #4  
Old 2005-04-29, 12:09
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thanks for the good comments guys. I've got a million more where that came from.
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