Dear Metalfags,

Welcome to Metaltabs, your own online world of inane conversation and clinically boring angry teenagers. We have some rules we would like you to observe.

THE CONTENT RULE:

NO SPAM IS ALLOWED.

Any topic that is allowed according to the forum definition is fine. However, NO SPAM IS ALLOWED. Spam is punishable by immediate and permanent ban.

Spam is defined as when you make a one-off posting about something which is self-concerned, and we don't care if it's your band, a affiliates program you're in, another UBB, some faggotty E-gang, WHATEVER...

Expect to get mightily abused if you spam. It's the ONLY time the INTENT RULE is suspended.

THE INTENT RULE:

NO UNREASONABLE PERSONAL ATTACKS.

This forum thrives on intelligent debate. Actually, that's a completely fatuous thing to say - it's more like a continual pre-pubescent screaming match. In any case, regardless of this, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON for personal abuse that goes out of context. Heated arguments are fine. But random hostility is right out.

So have your hissy fits elsewhere, you halfwit cunts. If Mommy doesn't like you, that's not our problem.

THE SWIFT ADMINISTRATION OF JUSTICE:

Expect to be suspended or banned if you fuck with the above, from periods ranging from 1 week (min) to forever (max). What happens is entirely at our discretion. And please don't fucking argue the issue with us, because that makes it infinitely worse.

HOW TO GET YERSELF SOME JUSTICE:

There is a little button near the top-right corner of posts which says "Report This Post To A Moderator". IN FUTURE, ALL POSTS WHICH PISS YOU OFF WILL BE DEALT WITH THROUGH THIS SYSTEM. Please report all posts which you think defy these rules. They will come through the administration queue to us, and therefore cannot be avoided or missed. The volume of traffic on this forum means that the occasionally piece of bitchery will go unnoticed. Notice it. Report it.

Enjoy your time posting here at Metaltabs. Or fuck off, you infected prepuce.

Yours sincerely,

The MetalTabs Moderators

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THINGS THAT ARE FROWNED UPON

1. The VS. DEBATE

"This band X is better than this Band Y!??!!111" - expect flaming. This is stupid.

2. The GENRE FAGDANCE

"It's not thrash-influenced hardcore with a toffee nose, it's metalcore with a smooth nu-death palate!" - expect flaming. This is stupid.

3. The THIS BAND TEH SUX0RZ!!

"I can't believe ABC is touring with XYZ!!! They teh sucks soo much azz!!!11 OMGG!!!LO!L!!" - expect flaming. This is stupid.

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New Rule:

Hit and run band threads are tolerable only if they're honest. If you want to post a thread about your band and then leave again that's fine by me (despite the fact that the above rules explicitly state otherwise), but don't come here acting like you've found this great new band on Myspace/Facewank, exalting the masterful guitar work and blowing hot air about how popular and groundbreaking it is, if the band is in fact just you suffering from some sort of third-person megalomania. We're mods with access to your email and IP addresses, it doesn't take much to figure this shit out. Even without exercising our mod powers we can simply Google parts of your post or your band's URL to see if it's been copied and pasted elsewhere in a similar fashion. If that turns out to be the case you'll be banned for spamming (and for being a creepy fucker) and your thread will be heavily edited in an extremely inappropriate manner.