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  #1  
Old 2004-12-22, 17:36
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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"Defenseless"

something freshly wrought

" Defenseless "

Defenseless, I'm drowning
Can't you see I'm disappearring
Deep beneath the ocean's waves away from you
Through the dark blue waters in the night
I cannot see the stars as my voice
Becomes silent in the crest of a wave

Rigid, I'm freezing
Don't you see my skin is changing
Icy fingers chipping as they reach for you
Whiteness causing blackness, eyes in fixed stare
My feet firmly planted, still as stone
Ice and rock, frozen blood and bone

Saved, I feel your breath
Fill my lungs, thaw my soul
Give me sheltered warmth once again
Cure my passion, dry my eyes with your tears
Smile for me and bring me back to life
Whithered no more, no fear of pain inside

BJH
12/22/2004
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #2  
Old 2004-12-22, 19:41
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Pandemonium Pandemonium is offline
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It's okay, what's the music like? I really can't take lyrics seriously without knowing the vocal melody.
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Old 2004-12-22, 20:13
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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I haven't really thought of a melody line for this yet. It was more poetry for now, but if you want to take a crack at it, go for it. You like some good bands so I'm game.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #4  
Old 2004-12-22, 20:30
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Pandemonium Pandemonium is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
I haven't really thought of a melody line for this yet. It was more poetry for now, but if you want to take a crack at it, go for it. You like some good bands so I'm game.


Haha, I've never written a vocal melody in my life.
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