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  #1  
Old 2004-10-11, 16:43
BloodThirstyDemon BloodThirstyDemon is offline
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Please read my first draft for my song...

Here I awake, 6am, where did life begin?
Distant memories are present, but identification is impossible
I retrace my footsteps, but it seems as though the end always leads back to the beginning
My dark room, as empty as my knowledge of my own existence
The reciprocating motion of the pendulum is my first experience of time

Empty streets surround me
Trees fluterring immensly under the sheer power of the wind
Isolation, confusion, abandonment
The key in my pocket is like a needle, and the world is my haystack

What was my place in society?
I am drifting into obscurety
I turn the pages, but each page is blank, the content not present
Each day repeats, and life is heading deeper and deeper into the void

The only memories that are contained within my head are those which consist of me
questioning my identity and my purpose
My mind, unoccupied until I awoke amidst a feeling of anguish and solitude

I start running down the streets, unaware of why I am doing so
A feeling of fretfulness and angst flow through my veins
I question this feeling, and my state of confusion is altered to an unbearable state

My past suddenly becomes evident within my mind
A past which is best left forgotten
A mental scar which cannot be vanished
Unfortunately for me, time cannot be reversed
I try to forget but the past keeps coming back to haunt me
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  #2  
Old 2004-10-12, 14:40
BloodThirstyDemon BloodThirstyDemon is offline
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Somebody please reply, I just want to know what u think..
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  #3  
Old 2004-10-12, 17:05
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Morbid+Roach Morbid+Roach is offline
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Pretty cool, dude. It gives something of a glimpse of what it's like to be insane. Waking up and the world around you is a void of emptiness.
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  #4  
Old 2004-10-16, 09:01
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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I dunno. The first 4 lines did nothing for me, but maybe it sets the tone for how you were personally feeling. For a song, I'd get rid of those though. The rest seems like it would be cool done like "Windowpane" by Opeth.
Cool.
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  #5  
Old 2004-10-17, 22:54
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Insomnium Insomnium is offline
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you're pretty bad at this whole "life" concept arent you?
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  #6  
Old 2004-10-18, 06:36
BloodThirstyDemon BloodThirstyDemon is offline
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^^ I don't really care what you think to be honest, I like writing lyrics, if you don't have anything good to say, shut your trap. Cunt.
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  #7  
Old 2004-10-18, 07:15
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Infinity Infinity is offline
Life is pain.
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Bloodthirstydemon has so much to learn. If you dont want negative criticism dont post the fucking thing. Cunt.
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  #8  
Old 2004-10-18, 07:39
BloodThirstyDemon BloodThirstyDemon is offline
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Have you heard of contructive criticism? No? Look it up, jackass
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  #9  
Old 2004-10-18, 07:41
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Infinity Infinity is offline
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Stop being such a fucking crybaby, you faggot. Your lyrics are gay. I mean who writes lyrics about a horses swelled up testicles [another of his songs, the thread was closed, as should be this one]. Your a fag. Shut up.
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  #10  
Old 2004-10-18, 08:19
BloodThirstyDemon BloodThirstyDemon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinity
Stop being such a fucking crybaby, you faggot. Your lyrics are gay. I mean who writes lyrics about a horses swelled up testicles [another of his songs, the thread was closed, as should be this one]. Your a fag. Shut up.



Ohhhhhh, just realised you're Australian! In that case, I won't waste my time with you anymore. And don't tell me to shut up, you're the one who came here and started running your mouth. Goodbye MATE!

PS: I understand why my testicle poem was flamed, but when I actually put some thought and effort into something else, I expect suggestions, improvements etc, not faggots like you flaming me all the time. Now fuck off.

Last edited by BloodThirstyDemon : 2004-10-18 at 08:23.
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  #11  
Old 2004-10-18, 17:04
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Insomnium Insomnium is offline
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lol. you are a faggot. leave and never show your e-face here again
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