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  #1  
Old 2004-08-02, 01:59
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Dystopia Dystopia is offline
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Just wrote two songs

I got back into my writing mood. I haven't written a song in months, so I am kinda rusty (not that my old songs were that great anyway).

===================================================

This first song is about how MTV easily makes up new trends and music to make money out of young kinds. It's called Easy Music.

Reproducing washed up bullshit
Creating trends annually
Money is thrown at them
For selling out the music industry
They have the youth’s intelligence
In the palms of their hands
MTV tells them what and what not to say
How and how not to think
When the trends die out
They’ll just make a new kind of music
A kind of music that is easy to make
For the ones whose minds are simplistic

===================================================

This other song is about how organized religion fucks everything up and the highly religious assholes who try to convert you to their own believes. It's called Religious Sickness.

People follow its every command
Fear its every word
Live the way it tells them to
And force it upon others
It’s in their minds
It is a disease
In that it spreads
Through out the country
Illogical to believe at times
Yet they keep knocking doors
Asking you to believe in something
That it uses you for
It is a religious sickness
It symptoms are mind control
Organized religion is a sin
For what you do to your soul

Suggestions/comments would be appreciated.
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Old 2004-08-02, 20:20
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Anyone?
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Old 2004-08-05, 05:43
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Infinity Infinity is offline
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no good.
i didnt like it
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  #4  
Old 2004-08-06, 16:13
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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In the first piece i think it was okay for a personal rant about music sell-out except for when you said--

They have the youth’s intelligence
In the palms of their hands

I think that if you referred to it in a way such as --

They mold youth's intelligence--and maybe even add something to describe the inteligence like-- They mold youth's yearning, supple, absorbant, gullible intelligence ? Just an idea. Not all those words, but one to show you're feeling on the subject.
It has a message to it, but it doesn't sound disgusted or angered enough to make someone sit up and take notice. Think of an MTV freak reading it and how you'd want to convert them to a more complex view of the music industry. Make them want to hear something other than just what the vj's play and what they wear.
One thing that amuses me about MTV is they try to say that individuality is cool, but sell stuff to rope everyone of their mindlessly led cows into buying overpriced trends. No class in that.

The second piece offered a look at a particular sector of organized religion. I guess I was fortunate to be raised in a church where the basic thing was we all believed in Jesus Christ. The ministers we had were the most wonderful family oriented people and always went the extra mile for their congregation. Mot every minister will ride in the back of a pick-up truck witha bunch of teenagers coming back from a hay ride and sing "100 Bottle of Beer on the Wall" !
But I do understand the fanatical religious zealots that like to think theirs is the only way ! What a load of whoo-ey.
The line--That it uses you for --was the only one I thought made it awkward and that line could be totally omitted or just reworded to flow better. Not a bad bit of observation.
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Old 2004-08-06, 22:23
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Thanks a lot for the advice, L,B'XXX. I appreciate it (*goes to edit the songs*).
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