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  #1  
Old 2004-07-23, 05:14
ArkaneSoul88's Avatar
ArkaneSoul88 ArkaneSoul88 is offline
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Arizona
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Metal And Flesh

I feel the cold sharpened metal,
Gently running across my chest.
Laying beds of dead flower petals,
Where condemned souls come to rest.

Night on end the pressure is growing,
soon the skin will break and seperate.
Reflections shine in my eyes showing,
memories of decayed past cant wait.

The metal stake resting on my heart,
molded just for your hands to press.
Its calling your name to do your part,
dont worry it will be but a minor mess.

Cast the stone to the metal and cringe,
Oh and might i add im a screamer.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
drive it deeper is that all you got,
cant handle it anymore, let me help you.


outro some dieing breaths maybe?
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  #2  
Old 2004-07-23, 05:28
Suicidal_Hate Suicidal_Hate is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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Night on end the pressure is growing,
soon the skin will break and seperate.
Reflections shine in my eyes showing,
memories of decayed past cant wait.

Reflections shine in my eyes glowing,


Sorry, couldnt help myself, it starts off pretty good, i dunno about the last two verses though.

EDIT: also check the syllaball count (dammit, how do you spell sylliball or whatever?)
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  #3  
Old 2004-07-23, 14:50
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powersofterror powersofterror is offline
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syllable, and this was good until the last verse.
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