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  #1  
Old 2004-05-11, 06:33
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"Flames All Around You"

Granny wrote a metal song. (That sounds like a good title for a spoof song now that I think about it....) Anyways, I wrote this this morning. I found the first few lines when I was looking through some old stuff so I ran with it. I was lucky to get a paper melody to it too and recorded it on Sound Recorder so I wouldn't forget it.

It's definitely a metal song and I need to tweak the music a bit, but what do you think of the lyrics ? Do you think there should be more storyline to it? Thanks in advance for crits.

"Flames All Around You"

Flames all around you
That will burn your brothers fears away
Lost at the last midnight,
The dreams of what used to be

Though I turn my back away I feel the heat rise
Splinters cut like razors through the glowing night
No need to try to save them
There'll be no survivors here
So go home and rest your head while you can
The end of them is near

They cut us down with their sword and shield
They caught our necks in their grasp
They clung to what they thought would destroy us
But now we've come back at last
To take back what was ours
In the once coal colored night
But we've sent them blazing in a pyre
Dead beasts flaming in the night

Flames all around you
That will burn your brothers fears away
Lost at the last midnight,
The dreams of what used to be
I can hear their voices calling me
And I'll show no fear in my eyes
As I light the fire that burns and gives you freedom
When the morning's sun rise

BJH
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #2  
Old 2004-05-11, 16:52
dying-oath dying-oath is offline
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hey hey. not bad. i like it i have no time right now though, so yeah...
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  #3  
Old 2004-05-11, 18:51
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I like it. I can see Iron Maiden, back in their glory days, singing this.
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  #4  
Old 2004-05-12, 07:52
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Iron Maiden , really ? Wow, thanks. I never expected that.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #5  
Old 2004-05-12, 11:11
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Pretty good.
Kinda like a medieval tale there.
I always like stuff like that.
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  #6  
Old 2004-05-12, 15:58
dying-oath dying-oath is offline
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"Flames all around you
That will burn your brothers fears away"
like this one. though, it sounds like you're talking to your little brother (you probably are) and I just don't like the "happy" feelings it conveys, but i like how it sounds and maybe in a different setting i would like it better, but the rest of it! nice.
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Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
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  #7  
Old 2004-05-12, 17:05
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Hmm, that's an interesting idea. I was thinking more of a 'brothers in arms' type idea though. That's part of the fun of writing is seeing how folks interpret them.

And I don't know if I have a little brother ,or big one for that matter, since I was adopted at less than a week old with no background at all.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #8  
Old 2004-05-12, 18:04
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Iron Maiden , really ? Wow, thanks. I never expected that.

Is that a good thing, or bad, in your opinion?
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  #9  
Old 2004-05-12, 19:09
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I will be perfectly honest and say that I've not heard much Maiden knowing that was who I was hearing. But my kid has posters of theirs up in his room and I know he likes them. We have similar tastes in music so I'd say it was a compliment.
Now I want to ask you something. What songs by Maiden does this remind you of? I'll peruse some lyrics and maybe sneak a listen to a few songs. In fact I'll do that anyways cuz I like keeping abroad range of music in my brain. It scares the heck outta people. And I like looking the part of a more or less conservative and acting like a hippie !!!
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #10  
Old 2004-05-12, 19:37
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If anything I'd say The Trooper only yours is ancient times, this is the Russian - British war i think. But idk. I can just see Iron Maiden Playing a song of this nature. And if youre going to check any songs out, go for the album "Brave New World" or "Powerslave" those are the best.
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  #11  
Old 2004-05-13, 06:54
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Cool. Thanks , dude.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #12  
Old 2004-05-13, 15:35
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No problem. I also like some of their stuff off of Dance of Death.
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  #13  
Old 2004-05-13, 16:50
dying-oath dying-oath is offline
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oh, i get it now. it all makes much more sense now that you cleared that up. the "brother" just didn't flow with me. but when you put it in terms of "Brothers in Arms" it makes it so much cooler. to me that is.
one more thing. "In the once coal colored night" i love this. this is so spiffy. that's a part where you need to get really nice guitars and nice vocals and make someone schivver. make their skin crawl like a great black Elephant trudging on a carpet of cockroachs. nice.
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Crying from the womb, I知 hating you
Burning from the pain, I chase after you,
Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
Chasing after ghosts, I知 killing you.
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  #14  
Old 2004-05-13, 18:14
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crunch!!!!

ooo, that gave me the willies... reminded me of those darn ole palmetto bugs in California that looked like they COULD carry off an elephant....
Thanks for the imagery !!! brat!!!
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #15  
Old 2004-05-14, 15:16
dying-oath dying-oath is offline
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no prob. anytime. i live in Florida, so we never see skateboards down here. no, we see people riding palmetto bugs. just think! powered skateboards! actually....that'd be pretty cool.
now, excuse me, i'm goin to go pass out...literally.
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Crying from the womb, I知 hating you
Burning from the pain, I chase after you,
Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
Chasing after ghosts, I知 killing you.
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  #16  
Old 2004-05-14, 20:05
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""In the once coal colored night" i love this. this is so spiffy. that's a part where you need to get really nice guitars and nice vocals and make someone schivver."

I really liked that too. I do not know where it came from . It just was there and I thought kewl !Thanks, I'm really glad someone pointed that out.

AND !!!

I hope you have nightmares about giant black elephants skateboarding on palmettos through your room ALL night !
Love,
Granny
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #17  
Old 2004-05-14, 20:48
dying-oath dying-oath is offline
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well, it didn't work. i couldn't pass myself out. it stank. i really wanted the feeling. i couldn't dream about any black skateboards or palmettos skating on my nightmares or anything like that. but at least i have another chance tonight.
no problem about pointing out all the cool stuff. I just thought it was cool. you're great granny, awesome lyrics.
(do bananas have skins? or did i dream that)
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Crying from the womb, I知 hating you
Burning from the pain, I chase after you,
Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
Chasing after ghosts, I知 killing you.
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  #18  
Old 2004-05-15, 04:10
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You know, d'_o' with an imagination like mine you shouldn't ask questions like "do bananas have skins?" because it's so easy to spark the 'Larry' (what Walpurgis nicknamed my lonely braincell) and get a silly song from it.
(Larry's II, III, IV live in Ireland, Holland, and India at tabcrawler)

Visions of bananas in sunglasses in patio loungers slathering on the tanning butter came to mind...... heehee
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #19  
Old 2004-05-15, 17:56
dying-oath dying-oath is offline
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ha. they'd have to wear sunscreen. else they would brown. hey! ever eaten fried bananas? ooohh. i wonder if they have little yellow skeletons. maybe they've got an exoskeleton. oh shoot. if they have bones, that would mean that they could take over the world! that would be fun, probably more efficient (sp?) than us humans, whatever.
i think you've already got "Larry" going. too bad for you.
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Crying from the womb, I知 hating you
Burning from the pain, I chase after you,
Seething from the fake, I知 catching you,
Chasing after ghosts, I知 killing you.
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  #20  
Old 2004-05-16, 15:41
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It's been along time, but they were pretty good from what I remember.

I was gonna pm ya and hit your profile ad found... "I will dissect your mind to where you have no idea who the heck you are " --Man, you're gonna LOVE talking to me then !!! I'm the Queen of Confusion.
I couldn't remember if I'd posted this and couldn't find it doing a search so instead of doing a new thread I just put it here. It was done in Sha-Na-Na's style sorta like "Prison Bitch." And if you haven't heard THAT you should !! Great song !

" Oh Larry "

Oh Larry , where did you go?
I have to find you
Because I don't know
How to maintain my life without you
My feet are immobile I'm stuck here like glue

Oh Larry, Larry, how can this be
I feel lost without you
I need remedy
The only way I know is to wrap you up tight
And keep holding on to you
All day and all night

But you went away and left me on a cold winter's day
You said you wanted some freedom to just get away
I couldn't stop you as you ran from my sight
And now I'm so lonely, Larry,
Come back and make it right

I don't know how I'll manage if you don't come back to me
I won't be able to think straight
And what will I be
Without you deep inside my head is just a mess
But I can live without you if I have to I guess

Oh Larry,Oh Larry , from me you went away
And I won't forget you try as I may
I should have plugged my ears when you tried to say goodnight
But now my braincell named Larry is far from my sight.
Oh Larry, Oh Larry, Where did you go

BJH

1/5/2004
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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