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  #1  
Old 2003-03-06, 19:27
Pale Princess Pale Princess is offline
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Oh go on then........

I may aswell add some of my latest unfinished scribbles

GIVE IT TO ME
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
I know I do complain ,
About lots of things.
However,you know you can do
Almost anything.

Kick me down...
Kick me down in the face,
And I will merely stand in awe,
Watch your foot move with such beauty and grace.

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
I await your comments!
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  #2  
Old 2003-03-06, 20:13
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deMANUfacture deMANUfacture is offline
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i really dont know bout these lyrics, sounds like a part 2 for dat pink song, family portrait. maybe make it a lil longer
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  #3  
Old 2003-03-07, 05:42
Pale Princess Pale Princess is offline
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It is not about domestic violence.Im quite upset that you think they sound like a pink song
But having thought about what you said,I suppose it does seem like it's about domestic violence or something like that.It's not,it's about falling in love,and how we let that person get away with anything,even though you would not be so passive in everyday life.The kicking in the face is merely metaphorical
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  #4  
Old 2003-03-07, 06:37
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deMANUfacture deMANUfacture is offline
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yeah when u explain it like dat its better, but i just imagined a film clip for dat and i couldnt see anythink else except pink singin bout domestic shit
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  #5  
Old 2003-03-07, 07:05
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artofnothing6 artofnothing6 is offline
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"kick me down in the face"

dont make up nonsense just to have a rhyming sentence, it makes the song sound stupid.
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  #6  
Old 2003-03-07, 17:12
Pale Princess Pale Princess is offline
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I missed the comma
Should be
Kick me down, in the face.

Thanks for the comment anyway
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  #7  
Old 2003-03-07, 17:58
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artofnothing6 artofnothing6 is offline
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eh, still doesn't make sense.
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  #8  
Old 2003-03-07, 18:40
Pale Princess Pale Princess is offline
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Kick me down ,then kick me in the face .
Seems pretty simple to me .
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  #9  
Old 2003-03-08, 01:10
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artofnothing6 artofnothing6 is offline
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makes sense if you say "then kick me in the face" but kick me down, in the face doesn't.
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  #10  
Old 2003-03-08, 21:07
xDarkestHourx xDarkestHourx is offline
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Whether that line makes sense or not, can't we just agree that this sucks donkeys for quarters? And stop fucking saying dat. When you're too lazy to type a god damn "t" and then an "h", you deserve to be shot in the face.

Cheers,
xx
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  #11  
Old 2003-03-08, 23:46
killingismybiz killingismybiz is offline
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Oh DarkestHour, give demanufacture a break! English is obivious not his or her's first language!!

And on the song/poem - atleast the title made me think it was going to be about sex or an under payed Las Vegas whore.

Quote:
However,you know you can do
Almost anything.

Not interesting - vague...

Quote:
Kick me down in the face,

Already had a discussion about this...

Quote:
And I will merely stand in awe,

I thought you were "kicked" down... should you not be standing? Up, down, inbetween, not sure?

And the beauty and grace was a cliche... atleast to me. Meh.
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  #12  
Old 2003-03-09, 15:06
Pale Princess Pale Princess is offline
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Well, thanks guys,you made me realize how lame it was,and it was!
But the music kicks ass,so I guess I'm just going to have to write some more.I'm a musician primarily,I find it hard to write lyrics,but seeing as I'm singing I have no choice....
I'll update when I have done some more.
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  #13  
Old 2003-03-11, 01:17
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deMANUfacture deMANUfacture is offline
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yeah dat would be kool, i know english and i know how to spell, i invite u to shoot me in the face mate
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  #14  
Old 2003-03-11, 08:14
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
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Maybe use it for an outline and beef it up a little. Not a bad idea. Just a little too short for what it says . But that's purely my opinion.
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  #15  
Old 2003-03-13, 22:42
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MeTalManiac555 MeTalManiac555 is offline
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It's shitty!!!! Maybe something good for some rap song or something liek gay linkin park but other than that it suck' man, sorry to say I'm not trying to be mean but I'm just giving you my oppinion.
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