Here's some straight up Ildjarn inspired black metal I wrote.
Venturing forth into dark woods unknown. Slipping away from the deeply trodden path. Far past where the foot steps end, and the animal tracks cease. Creeping into the strange darkness, enveloped by ancient trees with ancient spirits. The cold of the winter night is biting at my skin, and the canopy masks the nighttime moon. The primordial spirit of the woods themselves beckons me to delve deeper. Secrets of untold origins are whispered into the minds eye, as I have become numb and deprived of senses. Truth unfolds from the emptiness, and the emptiness unfolds from the truth. The journey ends with the same as it began, finding my way back to the well-marked path. This time I march the path with sadness in my heart, and longing in my soul. Nothing is true but nothingness and never shall I return.

I guess the major problem with this piece, which is otherwise fine (though I'd suggest breaking it up into lines for the reader's ease, even if it's not strictly necessary), is that there is supposed to be a moment of epiphany that the speaker moves towards and then returns sadly from, but I get no feeling of it whatsoever. The part that, as far as I can tell, is where it's supposed to be - Secrets of untold origins are whispered into the minds eye, as I have become numb and deprived of senses. Truth unfolds from the emptiness, and the emptiness unfolds from the truth. - doesn't really bring the weight the context suggests it should have. Right now it feels more like by rote recitation of what an important experience is supposed to be than a good representation of one. The synesthesia is interesting, at least.

My advice would be to really work this part over until it says what you want it to say, because it's pretty clearly the centerpiece to the experience described in the song, lyrically at least, and needs to take it up on its shoulders for it all to work. Aside from that it seems to do what you want well enough.

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Venturing forth into dark woods unknown.
Slipping away from the deeply trodden path.
Far past where the foot steps end,
and the animal tracks cease.
Creeping into the strange darkness,
enveloped by ancient trees with ancient spirits.
The cold of the winter night is biting at my skin,
and the canopy masks the nighttime moon.
The primordial spirit of the woods themselves
beckons me to delve deeper.
Secrets of untold origins
are whispered into the minds eye,
as I have become numb and deprived of senses.
Truth unfolds from the emptiness,
and the emptiness unfolds from the truth.
The journey ends with the same as it began,
finding my way back to the well-marked path.
This time I march the path with sadness in my heart,
and longing in my soul.
Nothing is true but nothingness and never shall I return.

Credit'-- Like that? You mean?

I hope you don't mind that I did that, but I was thinking the same thing. If it's prose it's one thing, but a lyric or poem is much easier, and less apt to be passed over, if it's phrased out. Much easier to view to put a tune to also.

I did like the imagery in this as I'm fond of my wooded area on my property and it definitely is inspiring. Being an Indian hunting ground has also made me contemplate quietly by the firepit those that were there before me. (My son and I even saw a disappearring doglike creature which to this day we have no idea where it went.) But anyways, this did speak to me. The midsection could be expanded to personalize it a bit if you'd want to get a little more specific. It's a generalization of going in, absorbing and experiencing, and leaving never to return, but why?

Or turn it in to a concept thing and explain that in another part. Nice read though. I liked it. And you created pictures without using a lot of thesaurus-like words which was good. (no offense to those who do either.)

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wendigo

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ARE YOU FUCKING DRUNK AGAIN?????? Pickin' on old ladies.

Shouldn't it be wherdigo ? And I'm serious as a heart attack . We were sitting on the picnic table bench. We heard something behind us. The fire was in front of us. We turned and saw a coyote shaped animal run into a big pile of branches, wood, and other scrap lumber. He picked up a rock and through it at the pile and nothing came out the other side or made any noise. We looked at each other and sat on the top of the picnic table. But that's not the only or last time something weird has happened when he's been around. And no, we weren't fried either.

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these lyrics arent nekro enough to be bm.

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I can make some black metal lyrics, it beats all yours!! :
Muahahahahahaa....this song is called ....Satan.....

....Satan.....:
Palm of Satan's hand, lies the seeds of darkness
I plant them into the virgin soil of Satan's garden of darkness
Satan.....Satan........Satan.....darkness and despair
The throne of Hell, capturing slaves and burning with the darkness of Satan
The rituals of the demon's past Hell......its future is darkness...and Satan
Hell....Satan......darkness....demon.......Satan....despair.......Satan...
Vengeance released by Satan.............it's vengeance is Hell's darkness
Satan!!!!!! My lord!!!! Satan!!!!
Darkness calls upon the!!!! Satan!! And darkness!!!
......Satan.......

*There, the hints to making black metal lyrics is that you have to use the word Satan, darkness, despair, hell.....and yea.........
I'm just kiddin......my lyrics suck and dont know how to make black metal lyrics....*

I agree totally.

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Here! Here!

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bloodredthrone, stop writing. guitaristat13, you're a jackass. the guy that said the word "nekro", you're a fucking loser.