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  #1  
Old 2005-06-15, 12:34
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"My Pillows Went Flat"

"My Pillows Went Flat"
Jacob Fitzlaff

My pillows went flat,
I've only had them for a month.
I threw out the instruction manual,
If only I was drunk...

Why did my pillows go flat?
Perhaps I'm sleeping wrong.
Perhaps if I was sleeping,
I wouldn't have wrote this song.

My bastard pillows are flat,
And fluffing them doesn't work.
I tried to get a refund,
But the guy at Wal-Mart is a jerk.

I'm stuck with my flat pillows,
Thanks for the Christmas present mom.
Everyday I awake with a sore neck,
So why am I telling Metaltabs.com?
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Last edited by Tulvox : 2005-06-15 at 18:52.
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  #2  
Old 2005-06-15, 12:35
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good god. brilliant!
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  #3  
Old 2005-06-15, 12:40
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Oh!! I love it so much when people write spontaeous stuff like this!!! makes me feel like I'm not the only one.

My son works at WalMart! And yeah, he can be an asshole just like Bob.

You get a 10 /10 on this one!
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #4  
Old 2005-06-15, 13:05
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You're not alone anymore Mommy!

I was laying in bed last night, getting steadily more pissed off at my pillows, and thus this poem was born.
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  #5  
Old 2005-06-15, 13:22
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hahaha good job!
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  #6  
Old 2005-06-15, 15:06
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That's awesome. e-hugs for Tulvox. I even take back the remark I made about the tulvox stubbies in the RTT.

Hey, could you make a pg-46 rated one without that nasty "c" word?
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!

Last edited by L,B'XXX : 2005-06-15 at 15:11.
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  #7  
Old 2005-06-15, 16:22
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Ahh...I'm sorry. I didn't realize that there were elders in the audience. I'll keep you in mind next time L,B'XXX. But...another poem about pillows?

Edit: What's a Tulvox stubby?
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Last edited by Tulvox : 2005-06-15 at 16:28.
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  #8  
Old 2005-06-15, 17:25
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I got to the "C-word" and stopped reading.

I really dislike that word.
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  #9  
Old 2005-06-15, 18:15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tulvox
Ahh...I'm sorry. I didn't realize that there were elders in the audience. I'll keep you in mind next time L,B'XXX. But...another poem about pillows?

Edit: What's a Tulvox stubby?


No, no! Just a cleaned up word in that spot. Heavens no, don't write another piece unless you want to. You could wait til you get new pillows and do a sequel though.
My pillows went flat,
I've only had them for a month.
I threw out the instruction manual,
Maybe I should smoke a blunt. --I unno. It would have to semi-rhyme with month though.

No, I don't go for too much censorship and that went right over my head when I first read it, but had it sunk in I'd have said something. Plus you said it was one of those spontaneous pieces so I wouldn't want you to tamper with the original unless you felt it necessary. I mean if you wanted to drop a hint to your mom you might post it on the fridge and I don't know if she'd like that word or not.
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-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #10  
Old 2005-06-15, 18:18
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The tulvox stubbies I came up with when some were talking about picks. I can't remember the right name but it was similar to yours. I did a quote and changed the original word to your name. I went through a bunch of pages at that long ass thread looking for it but I can't find it now. lol You were in the conversation so that's why I did it.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #11  
Old 2005-06-15, 18:53
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I don't remember that conversation...

And I hope you like the PG-46 version.

Bangbang, then you might not like most of the regulars here.

Edit: I searched the RTT and found that post, L,B. I looked two pages ahead and behind too. I wasn't in that conversation. You must have been high, metal mom.
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Last edited by Tulvox : 2005-06-15 at 19:32.
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  #12  
Old 2005-06-15, 19:52
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You're kidding me. Doggone it. Maybe I saw you in the browser list. I don't think any of the meds I've been on have given me a buzz or anything so I don't think I was high. You found the conversation? I'm impressed.

heehee Yeah, that's a good switch from that "bad word." You didnt' have to do that though. I'm an old fart on the boards and don't want to step on any creative toes. I think I'm getting desensitized to certain things because of being here. It still isn't a part of my vocabulary that I personally use though.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #13  
Old 2005-06-15, 20:31
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The quote you mentioned is on page 667. Just use the search function next time.
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  #14  
Old 2005-06-16, 06:39
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I did, but how did you get the page number? I must have been pretty darn close because that's right about where I was. I must have scanned about 15 or 20 pages and somehoe missed that one. lol figures.........old, senile woman....
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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  #15  
Old 2005-06-16, 11:33
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Intution, instinct, and luck my sweet woman
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Even drones can fly away.
The queen is their slave.


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  #16  
Old 2005-06-16, 14:12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tulvox
Intution, instinct, and luck my sweet woman


That's an awful lot of feminine qualities. I'm starting to wonder about you now. Smart ass. Oh well. No biggie.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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