You guys got me rolling. Soulin' , you're rant earlier made me laugh. I wasn't crazy about the lyric either, but it did have good logical flow to it. It had the insanely pissed off feeling as well as disgust. Relationships just don't merit abuse like this, but it isn't much different than the doctor who's g/f on the side decided she didn't want a relationship with her so instead of giving her the usual syringe of B12, he had a mix of hepatitus C and AIDS virus he injected her with. Yeah, there are sick people out there.
A piece like this heard by the wrong person could be a disaster. The odds are slim that would happen though. I don't take too many of the ranting songs on here seriously, but it is good when a disclaimer that it is just imaginative is included. It's better if it comes in the initial post, but you can't always predict a response either.

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ok, now I can understand you guys better. But I never took this lyrics seriously! I just said that the topic is sick... Anyways, when you like it, so it shall be.

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i thought they was pretty good
even though i cant fuckin write nothing any way
so i just wrote this for a laugh

you was once a charming light
now your skined alive screaming
for the god's that dont fuckin hear you.
melt down your eye's a drink to your pain
cut out the fetus as your family goes insane
he raped your corpse that was still warm inside
it makes him wonder what would go through your
fuckin mind if you could have seen the agony.
dismemberd your arms & legs broke your back
to sowe your face to your cunt thats been abused
black and blue as the infection comes out smooth

rob24? You're 14, right? You shouldn't talk like that. I'm telling your authoritative parental figure .

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well go tell whoever u gotta tell if it makes you feel any better
and it would be good to be 14 again then i wouldnt have to work like you old bloody rags but hey it's all for good laughs

but that would be a pretty good way to shut up a woman
sowe her face to her cunt put her on some hooks through her back
and rip out her guts out her ass

go do it... i dare ya.

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Shit, that wouldn't shut me up. It would make me bitch about having a back ache. Guts out the ass? You ever given birth? Been there, done that.

And it's "sew" .
Trendk'-- future, suture? I smell a future bit of exquist verse from that.

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an odd thing i've noticed.
you typed trendk'-- . Probably in an attempt to shorten my handle.
but it's the exact same. trendk is 6 letters. (ill) is the norm, yet you replaced them with ('--). The exact same amount of letters. And it's even one key, one key twice.
time for my pill.

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Holy fuck, this whole forum has come to a standstill. It is like it was evolving, and all of a sudden BOOM! Everything just goes in circles, everybody has to critisize another person for something, which is then countered, and then somebody says "Oh gosh, you are all critisizing eachother", and then somebody has to fight with them about that. You just end up at the start. The only thing you can do that is productive is just give him some fair critisizm. We don't need metaltab philosophers.

Ok, good poem, not my cup of tea.

And for fuck's sake, the "poets" here have to start accepting critisism. No, I am not a douche bag for not liking your poem, nor are you a douche bag for writing a poem that I don't like.

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I think she's more concerned with how it would sound than with how much effort she put into it. I may be wrong.


Agreed, but you can't expect the internet to be a haven of free and intelligent discourse - though, in comparison with some sites I've seen, this forum is. I'd love to see this forum only give constructive criticism, as I've tried to do when I've posted in this particular part, but I really don't expect it. It's the internet, and most people here are so metal they rust in the rain and need to have some non-metal helper-friends around to oil their joints and get them moving out of the water; allow a little leeway for idiocy. Unless it gets annoying.

And we do need metaltab philosophers. Just quiet ones.

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You are exactly right. One should not take offense that someone doesn't like their piece. If we all liked the same thing we'd still be listening to a monkey beating on a coconut instead of having different types of instruments. Words are self expression and we may not all agree with what's said, but as mature critics we should be able to set aside personal preference and comment on positive things about a piece like spelling, grammar, form, storyline, even though we don't like other things about it. Unless, of course, it just plain sucks balls, but generally the person already knows that themselves. I've found that sometimes when something does have a bad structure it's not because the person is a complete fool, but because English is not their primary language. And that's when it's encouraging to the other person to offer aide to help them perfect their own pieces. I've made some great friends that way, too.

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hehehe it's funny cos they're monkeys!!!

I don't know where I get some of my ideas from really. That was pretty amusing though.

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