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  #1  
Old 2002-11-12, 01:21
terminus terminus is offline
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Alright, tell me what you think. Maybe you can help me with a title

Broken dreams as a child
Now lay in stone cast by the moon
In the cold chill of the night
I look in the moon and see
Cold reflections of a life before me

I close my eyes and dream
Of the days wher I have dwelt
In the twilight of death

The cold burning my face
As the wind howls like wolves
On a cold and darkened night

I see broken glass reflections
Shards of what used to be
I rise ip in the darkness of night
And ask: "What has become of me?"

It was a lonley and painfull journey
During which time I took no wife
For I fear for my life
But I fear for my spirit more

I wandered in the wastes of a land forgotten
That now exists in the memories of man
On my journeys I learned the Ancient ways
Now I hold them close to my heart
And in the end they'll tear me apart

But now I am old
And the gods don't hear my cries
Whom did I offend?
Whom did I neglect?

My life has reached the end
The cold breath of death hangs in the air
Like a lantern out of fuel
I exit now and turn off the lights
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  #2  
Old 2002-11-12, 01:23
Lord Malphas
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not bad at all
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  #3  
Old 2002-11-12, 09:42
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mrweijia mrweijia is offline
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i agree, its quite good
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  #4  
Old 2002-11-12, 16:24
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powersofterror powersofterror is offline
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its okay, i like the way you ended it...

and for a title........
i can think only of ,
man on a mission,
piece of mind,
in the light of night
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  #5  
Old 2002-11-12, 18:44
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mrweijia mrweijia is offline
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or "voyage through the times of mine" or "candle"
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  #6  
Old 2002-11-24, 22:28
Eternal_Sorrow Eternal_Sorrow is offline
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Posts: 168
i agree with the rest of them it is pretty good as for a title all i can think of is,

"Journey to the Grave"
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  #7  
Old 2002-12-15, 03:22
Dvsthrashmetal2
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i liked "glow among the shards of the moon"
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  #8  
Old 2002-12-17, 04:33
Mornyano Mornyano is offline
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I liked it too. Sounds bit like E.A. PoeŽs poems.

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  #9  
Old 2002-12-17, 05:46
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Def Def is offline
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It's nice but it's more like a poem then lyrics, somehow.

though, I like it, good work man, keep it up.
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  #10  
Old 2002-12-17, 20:29
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MeTalManiac555 MeTalManiac555 is offline
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Yeah I agree it is more like a poem, but it sounds good man. I like the ending too. I wouldnt really know a name, maybe somehtig like "to my grave the moon will follow" I dont know, lol . eternal sorrows name was pretty good the "Journey to the grave"
Keep up the good work man. Hail!!!
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walk through nature's dwelling
hide from obscure trees listening
winter brings gloom, brings remnants of our shadows
twilight casts spells on those who espouse their fate

ice pricks necks like knives, leaving shards of cadaverous skin
tears spout from eyes, shunned from mankind's den
(Prayer For Cleansing/ "A Dead Soal Born")
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