MetalTabs.com - your source for Metal tabs
Home Forum What's New Submit a Tab FAQ Links Contact Us Link to Us


Go Back   MetalTabs.com Forum > Metal > Poetry Lyrical
User Name
Password


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 2004-10-28, 16:18
MarquisaWolf MarquisaWolf is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
Send a message via ICQ to MarquisaWolf Send a message via Yahoo to MarquisaWolf
The Oak Lament

To die in sweet serenity
Tis all I've ever wanted
Bury me under an oak tree
Flesh will become one with the dark soil
For every season that pass
I passed on from this place
Without a dim regret
Symphonys I hear,lying here
Whispers of the forest are lullebies to me

A Child in Slumber
Never to awake

Shadows Crumber
Into darkened corners

Into A Place
Where I Lay

All said their goodbyes
As I found serenity
Dancing with other spirits in the woods
Disappearing into nothingless
Planting seeds of memory in stone hearts
Who choose to forget so quickly
Songs fly with the wind
On wings of lighting storms
To the hall up high

A Child in Slumber
Never to awake

Shadows Crumber
Into darkened corners

Into A Place
Where I Lay

Whipe me out from your minds
I've found my place
Even if no mortal will remember
The oak will never forget
From who's flesh he's fed
New leaves appear and fall again
To the soil where I lay
For only one season they come
Only to sing
For life lost to give life
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 2004-10-29, 06:08
Trendkill_420's Avatar
Trendkill_420 Trendkill_420 is offline
Post-whore
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: canada eh
Posts: 1,257
That's a cool fucking poem man.
__________________
Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 2004-10-29, 10:50
MarquisaWolf MarquisaWolf is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
Send a message via ICQ to MarquisaWolf Send a message via Yahoo to MarquisaWolf
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trendkill_420
That's a cool fucking poem man.


Thanx
and.. I'm a woman
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 2004-10-29, 17:28
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,880
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
Yep, that was pretty cool. There's a couple probably typoed places like in the fifth line , should that be 'passed' or 'passes' ? 'Pass' just doesn't sound right to me. The fifth part , 4th line --'nothingless' ? Is that right? Should it be nothingness or two words-- nothing less ?

That's the only things I see I'd comment about. The piece was very nice. I enjoyed the imagery a lot. The title is good, too.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 2004-10-29, 19:01
MarquisaWolf MarquisaWolf is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
Send a message via ICQ to MarquisaWolf Send a message via Yahoo to MarquisaWolf
Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
,should that be 'passed' or 'passes' ? 'Pass' just doesn't sound right to me. The fifth part , 4th line --'nothingless' ? Is that right? Should it be nothingness or two words-- nothing less ?



in the line "For every season that PASS" the Pass is right because I'm talking about any season, therefore a cycle. no if I was refering to a specific season it would be Passed

And the Nothingless is also right. there is no such word as Nothingness, as you suggested.
For example: "and see that nothingless is all" (Therion - Lemuria)
" Life suffers defeat Lunar strain From nothingless to reality As we see it From nothingless to life ......" (In Flames - Lunar Strain)
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 2004-10-29, 20:23
L,B'XXX's Avatar
L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,880
Send a message via ICQ to L,B'XXX Send a message via AIM to L,B'XXX Send a message via Yahoo to L,B'XXX
Well, I was thinking 'nothingless' could be poetic license. "nothingness" is in my Oxford American Dictionary and means --nonexistence, faded into nothingness.
This doesn't have some words in it and "nothingless" is one that isn't.

Thanks for the clarifications though.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 2004-10-29, 21:01
Soulinsane's Avatar
Soulinsane Soulinsane is offline
Pirate Lawd
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hanger 18
Posts: 6,520
MarquisaWolf, I love it. I really do. Some of the best stuff I have seen here in a while
__________________
Authorized Mercury Magnetics tech/dealer
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 2004-10-29, 21:17
MarquisaWolf MarquisaWolf is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
Send a message via ICQ to MarquisaWolf Send a message via Yahoo to MarquisaWolf
Quote:
Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Well, I was thinking 'nothingless' could be poetic license. "nothingness" is in my Oxford American Dictionary and means --nonexistence, faded into nothingness.
This doesn't have some words in it and "nothingless" is one that isn't.

Thanks for the clarifications though.



That's pretty odd, since in all the poetry I have ever read it always is nothingless...
ohh well..
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 2004-10-29, 21:20
MarquisaWolf MarquisaWolf is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
Send a message via ICQ to MarquisaWolf Send a message via Yahoo to MarquisaWolf
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulinsane
MarquisaWolf, I love it. I really do. Some of the best stuff I have seen here in a while


thanx, and.. hmm is that beer for me? cause you know... I only drink the dark kind
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 2004-10-29, 21:32
Soulinsane's Avatar
Soulinsane Soulinsane is offline
Pirate Lawd
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hanger 18
Posts: 6,520
Whatever you want. That was a nice write

I can't even point out what I like about it, but I like it. You ever read or heard a song like that?

Cheers! This drink of mine is for you
__________________
Authorized Mercury Magnetics tech/dealer

Last edited by Soulinsane : 2004-10-29 at 21:35.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 2004-10-31, 13:35
MarquisaWolf MarquisaWolf is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 19
Send a message via ICQ to MarquisaWolf Send a message via Yahoo to MarquisaWolf
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soulinsane
You ever read or heard a song like that?


Nope, can't say I have.
__________________
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change." Marquis De Sade
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 2004-11-28, 00:27
Soulinsane's Avatar
Soulinsane Soulinsane is offline
Pirate Lawd
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Hanger 18
Posts: 6,520
Well please post some more of your writings. I just reread this one because I remember it was good, but now I remember it was just great. In fact I think it is about the best thing I have ever read on this site. Something about it is comforting to be. Just beautiful like an AIC song!
__________________
Authorized Mercury Magnetics tech/dealer
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 17:43.


========

Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Disclaimer
Copyright © 2001-2009 MetalTabs.com. All Rights Reserved.
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.