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  #1  
Old 2004-08-16, 18:47
ArkaneSoul88's Avatar
ArkaneSoul88 ArkaneSoul88 is offline
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never..

Lips swollen and splintered red,
endulging for they said...
"I drank the deception,
for the sake of passion."

Since our last embrace,
a heart with a cold face.
Bathing with the sunlight,
my forever dead snow-white.

Let the ink bleed again,
show how dark i feel inside.
Words on paper withering,
nothing quite worth burning.

See the blackness inside,
for you were never my bride?
I stand alone for now forever,
watch me walk and say never.

Lips swollen and splintered red,
endulging for they said...
"I drank the deception,
for the sake of passion."
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  #2  
Old 2004-08-16, 20:06
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take it or leave it... but i did just put on some chapstick thanks to the lip reference




















....nazi
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  #3  
Old 2004-08-16, 22:42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Transient
take it or leave it... but i did just put on some chapstick thanks to the lip reference





....nazi


You need to get a life and grow up man. Just because i have numbers in my name that have a meaning, doesnt mean i follow it. And even if i did, who the fuck cares? this is a poetry forum? Not a political forum or w/e. I never came in here trying to "preach nazi" or anything. I dont even believe in that shit! So fuck off!
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  #4  
Old 2004-08-16, 22:47
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not to...bad? don't really get the direction of it. It might be that I'm only half paying attention who knows. But nice stuff. Few things in there don't entirely rhyme but oh well.
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  #5  
Old 2004-08-17, 08:02
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It wasn't bad. Nothing really screamed at me, but i t would probably do well with some cool music.

And most internet names don't mean a whole lot. They're just something to play with.
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  #6  
Old 2004-08-17, 09:22
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its not bad but its 'one of the many' mainly due to the rhyming pattern I guess. I really liked the 2nd little part though, the rest doesn't really strike me
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