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Old 2003-06-15, 09:49
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Lord Arioch Lord Arioch is offline
Senior Metalhead
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: NeverWhere
Posts: 171
First I've read it all so good point.

it lacks a flow sometimes. but I don't know the music played behind.
Otherwise good choices of words.
Maybe you could make it shorter to gain intensity.

but for a first time you go with the congratulations
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