Being a 28-year-old virgin with a perpetually ungreased weasel I only wish I would find myself in a situation where my sexual performance could be brought into question. On the bright side it does mean I technically have a flawless track record. Along with my equally flawless track records in eXtreme Kombat-Kayaking™ and cross-country pole-vaulting it's only a matter of time before I get noticed by girls for my consistent excellence.


LOOK AT MY FUCKING ROBOT!

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