Oh, look what I got in the mail today!
Honestly, when I opened the package I thought Gomers had sent me a pair of his briefs. I looked at it from every conceivable angle, wondering how the fuck Germans' genitalia are configured to allow them to wear such a bizarrely-made underpant. Turned out it was an Irishman's Disguise™ - a balaclava which covers everything on the head except for the face. And yes, I tried it on. Smelled kinda strange, like some kind of chemical. I'm assuming it was just blowback from the Zyklon-B fumes at Gomers' last BBQ.
The first pic is how the parcel arrived - with an IRA gunman peeking out from behind the envelope. The possible repercussions of having this delivered to me in this part of the country is something only the Large Hadron Collider could compute.
So, in sum:
1. Pro-IRA propaganda
2. Addressed to a rapist of dead children
3. Printouts of how to make nuclear bombs
4. A ski-mask
5. What appears to be a page from a mentally ill Nazi survivalist's End of Days manifesto (with a Star Wars sticker on the back)
Gomers, I haven't laughed so hard since Dylan's sister shat out of her pussy when I was butt-fucking her while holding her mouth and nose shut with my hand and after I'd packed her ears with cotton wool, leaving only one hole from which turdlings could be passed.