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Old 2012-03-10, 09:19
Chuck Norris's Avatar
Chuck Norris Chuck Norris is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Okla-fudgin'-homa
Posts: 3
It's not really my birthday for I was never "born". I came into existence through a rigorous program of sit-ups and eXtreme prayer. However, celebrating the day of my unbirth is something I permit so that I may bring light into the lives of my followers, many of whom are barely capable of benching 120lbs because they're liberals and fear any kind of advantage or strength which might cause me to want to take them down a peg or two.

I shall be roundhouse-kicking a large flaming cake into the mouths of starving brownies at 6pm on my YouTube channel, as I do every year, but this time it's a little bit different; the cake will be encased in titanium alloy and will have 14" nails protruding from its surface which I must simultaneously smash and ensure aren't sent into the mouths of the hungries. I'll also be shot in the stomach with a pistol.

Enjoy my birthday, you've earned it*!

* This may or may not be the actual opinion of Chuck Norris.
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