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Old 2011-11-27, 22:52
Paddy Paddy is offline
Forum Daemon
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
First I'd like to say thank you to Bobblings for giving Mansley and I separate birthday threads. I'm sick of living in the shadow of that Jon Venables-lookin' cunt.

Originally Posted by Gomli
If you're referring to Bobbi's I've already seen 'em, but her sordid PMs aren't the only means of seeing them; just ask Buzz Aldrin if you can have a look at the holiday snaps he took from Apollo 11. The pics are of the earth as a whole, but if you look real hard you can just make out the Great Wall of China running parallel with her left areola.

Originally Posted by Amadeus
Yea, I guess I might say "happy birthday and have a good one", but saying that would imply that at least three midgets and an innocent bystander would be just downright horribly treated before the end of the day.


Oh, and Gomli, this may or may not cause you to look at your FB updates in a new light, but I speak German fairly fluently.
All I could rustle up was a Swede and three landmine victims. If life gives you lemons made lemonade! ... all over the stumps of an amputee and a weeping blonde pansy.

Wait, you speak German? Was that the war-dodging deal you guys struck with Nazi Germany? All I ever hear from the British regarding that war is "if we'd lost WWII we'd all be speaking German!" and it hadn't occurred to me that voluntarily adopting German as a language would have been enough to avoid that whole unfortunate episode. And maybe if we had avoided it PST wouldn't have turned out the way he did.

Originally Posted by Dyldo
I love you more than I love turnips, Padsminkle. I miss you. I remember when I used to hold you and you would sit on my face and wiggle.
Turnips make my farts smell like your mother's cunt-breath. I miss you too, in much the same way that Stefan Fritzl misses her grandpappy's bedtime stories.

Originally Posted by JoeYngVai
Fuck you, Paddy.

Originally Posted by Amadeus
...I mean, surely you understand that all I'm trying to accomplish here is to have you invite me over in Paddy's own birthday thread?
If my celebratory birthday thread can be used as a conduit between your cock and Gomli's anus then I've lived a worthwhile life. However, if I myself can be that conduit my life will be all the better for it, despite the harmless Swedish AIDS virus you'll pump into my gut-sock and the fact that my cock will start leaning permanently to the right after sodomising Gomers.

Originally Posted by YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD
I am shocked that Paddy himself hasn't posted up a storm in this thread yet. You drown yourself in Jameson now y'hear??
I sure did! If by "Jameson" you mean "the anal fruitshake of an elderly illegal Cambodian immigrant survivor of the Khmer Rouge Killing Fields who thought she was getting a cash-in-hand job ironing my sweet t-shirts".

Originally Posted by L,B'XXX
Paddy had some family and friends stuff come up. He found out he's with child again ( stop impregnating him Gomers!) and he went to visit a shaman in the Peruvian desert to find out if it's twins again this time. At least that's what HE said.
Turned out to be a massive pair of stomach tumours. Luckily they cancel each other out, so no surgery or chemotherapy required. At least that's what Wikipedia says.

Oh wait, I just checked; that particular piece of information was deleted from the main Cancer_Treatment article. I've contacted FuckCancerVictims1987 to find out why his edits were removed...

Originally Posted by Gomli
Every time he tells those stories I think he's in hospital or something like that. Didn't he had a lobotomy and that stuff already?
They don't let me into the hospital anymore; apparently limping around with a cane and affecting an American accent whilst insulting patients and diagnosing everyone with Lupus isn't as funny to the families of the dead as it is to me.

Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
I thought he was a 30 year old virgin. Who will I have to look up to now?
One out of two ain't bad.

Originally Posted by BassBehemoth
Happy Birthday Irish brother!
Irish brother? Is that a term of endearment or are you just being a big fat RACIST? "Irish brother" is a racial epithet directed at the working class Catholic Irish who could only get work as chimney sweeps. NEVER FORGET!!!!1

Aaaaaaaaand I'm spent. Thanks everyone
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