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Old 2011-11-27, 22:37
Paddy Paddy is offline
Forum Daemon
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,745
Liverpool gave us child child-murderers, it single-handedly brought homosexuality into the mainstream by allowing men to have permed hair without prejudice and it provided us with the finest comedy television & radio series ever written - Liverpool FC. It also gave Mark Chapman a moving target to practice on and thus helped rid the world of an uppity Liverpudlian in a truly paradoxical example of "cleaning house".

John, this will be the 5th reply in your birthday thread. At the time of writing this my birthday thread has 16 replies. Read into that what you will. Failing that, read into this: I'm clearly more important than you. Even though I'm roughly three-times more important than you I'm not so far up my own ass with my celebrity status that I can't wish an ordinary chap such as yourself a happy birthday. So, here it comes:

Happy birthday

Don't worry about being 30, all it means is that your life is effectively over and that everything from here on consists of riding an ever-quickening downward spiral into a yawning pool of nothingness in the pit of the Grim Reaper's blackened gut in which you'll be slowly digested in mildly corrosive liquid-misery.

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