2011-09-19, 18:14
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,834
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The chorus had a lot of intensity to it. The rest is a little fragmented. I think there's a typo in "No bad I realized."
And these lines don't flow well either thought-wise.
"Losing your chance still wait for your prince
Of never coming true dreams"
If you can do something with those lines it won't be a bad piece.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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