Let's take stock of what this happy-birthday-having muthafucka has done with his life thus far:
1. Married a gorgeous woman.
2. Become CEO of all businesses in the world.
3. Survived 9/11 by batting away chunks of falling debris with his cock.
4. Assassinated Colonel Kurtz in 'Nam.
5. Is able to arm-curl 600lbs.
6. Fired a shot from the grassy knoll.
7. Owns a fleet of mid life crisis-grade cars.
Requiem is a man of many accomplishments, but the one accomplishment he has yet to attain is to have a stupendously fantastic birthday with lots of yummy cake and pressies. Do it now, Req, and your list shall be complete. It'll still be as believable as Bill Clinton when he said he hasn't even seen a Jew in real life let alone fingered one, but that's not the point!!!1!1!
Have a good one, son.