A long time ago, it was a guarantee that I'd win that award.

I'm more laconic now.

And I'm sure you were more attractive before herpes took over the totality of your visible flesh and syphilis degraded your mind, Dyldyl, but the fact of the matter is that Jim is an immaculate hunk of manhood and you are a walking 10th grade Health class poster crowing the upsides of abstinence.