I'm a little self-conscious about posting recipes in the presence of an actual chef. If PST promises not to read or respond to or even think about whatever I post I'll consider sharing my sweet knowledges, but he has to PROMISE!
Big Pat's Kamikaze Beans & Sausages
Grill, fry or deep fry or even spit-roast 8 pork or beef sausages. It doesn't matter which, you're not gonna taste the fuckers anyway.
While the sausages are being cremated pour the baked beans [these ones
] into a microwaveable dish, and then dump in about half a shaker of ground black pepper, less if you're a gay faggot, and stir it up real nice with your favourite fork with the big handle.
When the sausages are nearly done, microwave the beans for 4 minutes on full power. It's a custom of mine to press my face against the microwave door for the full 4 minutes in the hopes of acquiring some superpowers but in general it just makes me sleepy and unable to add basic numbers together for several hours.
When everything is done put the sausages on a plate, then pour the kamikaze beans over the top of 'em so everything resembles black people drowning in a volcanic eruption. Remember, if they resemble Asians you haven't cooked them long enough!
Place a twig of parsley on the edge of the plate and stick a little blue flag with "Go Sausages!" written on it into the most central sausage.
Eat. Eat like you've never eaten before.
Thank me for the best meal you ever had.
Seriously, that shit never gets boring, and it's fuckin' deliciously yummy. It only takes about 15 minutes, too!