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Old 2010-06-29, 15:57
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L,B'XXX L,B'XXX is offline
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
Join Date: Jan 2003
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Ditch the "thee." It's totally out of place. If it was a period piece then maybe, but it's clearly not.
Is this relative to the lyric? This needs reworked or left out -
"Like the satan fears that you
Realize that He exists"

You've got form, but the overly melodramatic content doesn't have much to dig into to make it memorable. Give it some zest and fire like you're really missing the person.
My eldest son's bipolar website:

-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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