
2010-05-01, 12:01
|
 |
dsnt trust ne1 < 30
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,834
|
|
|
It seems a little different from your usual style and content. It seemed a little rough in a couple places, but it might be the language thing.
Some bench you sat down and never left - could use "down on" or "sat on" so it doesn't seem the bench was placed there instead of a behind. From the rest of the context I understand that's what's meant.
This was the other line I wasn't sure of -
"It's always a matter of now read on"
The feather image just seems to float scene by scene as a constant idea that randomly lilts around.
__________________
My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
|