
2009-04-28, 11:03
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,834
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You have carnage as his strategy in the first stanza so you might describe how that will be done. In the second, obliteration of a nation. Why does he hate that so much? What does he hope to accomplish by making them extinct?
It's like bones are the spine of the piece and you've added a few ribs to it, but you're further adding muscle and tendon to it.
I hope that helps. If you come up with something be sure to post it and I'll look it over for ya along with everyone else.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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