Thread: Daemon Dog
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Old 2007-12-10, 12:04
CAPCOPSNOW CAPCOPSNOW is offline
New Blood
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 44
i like the raw nastyness that you bring with your phrasing but when your doing a growling ryming type thing rythym is key. Try to make the corresponding lines have the same syllables (it really sounds tight) or know that you can growl or screams those lines in a way that makes sense. one more personal suggestion purely out of what i like but mix up the different images of gore that you want to portray like yes the dog ate its little but talk about the puppy corpses with guts hanging out everywhere (shock is another key thing to get peoples attention w your writing).
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