Ok you asked for it, now these are positively prehistoric and very crap!
What does NASA stand for?
Need Another Seven Astronauts.
Why doesn't Ronald Reagan play badminton?
He can't keep the shuttle up.(obviously he wasn't dead back then)
How do they know the shuttle crew had dandruff?
They found their head and shoulders in the sea.
Rose West may win her appeal for murder, turns out Fred West got his top soil from Lockerby.
What's white and skims across water at 200mph?
Lord Mountbatten’s trainers.
What's the difference between a bucket of sand and a bucket of afterbirth?
You can't gargle a bucket of sand.
Whats the best thing about fucking twentyeight year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
What do you call a fly with no wings?
What do you call a lesbian from Pakistan?
What do you call a police grass from Pakistan?
Why does it take 10 women with PMT to change a light bulb?
IT JUST FUCKING DOES OK!!!!!!!
Why was the supermodel staring at the orange juice?
Because it said 'concentrate' on the carton.
What's got four legs and goes woof?
Piper Alpha (for you Americans:it was an oil rig that blew up)
What's Freddie Mercury's boyfriend getting for christmas this year?
A smaller turkey.
What was John Lennon's last hit?
How many Beatles can you get in a small car?
Four, one in the front, one in the back and two in the ashtray.
For fans of Paul Gad......
.....This Christmas the Vietnamese people aren't going to put up decorations, they're just going to hang Glitter.
Gary Glitter got a 4 month sentence, he was out after 2 months, that suited him as he likes half terms!
That's enough now