Thread: 10,000 Legions
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Old 2007-02-21, 15:36
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JOAMdude JOAMdude is offline
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What i mean is, if all you have is words in prose, describing the immediate situation the extreme effect of death gets lost in the process of repetition. If there is no base for comparison with other things, the death and destruction gets dumbed down. Don't just say:

Blood pours through the halls, there is skulls and shit!!!!
Some guy impales infested guts with a rusty brutal sword.

Try:

Crimson blanket, surface undisturbed, seeps through the royal battlements
Penetrated, the skin divides, that which is preciously guarded by flesh, cruelly ripped out and remains, vulnerable, on the grimy floor
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