The two might not be mutually exclusive.

Wrote this on the drive home. Parody should be obvious:

I came in to fast
She hid in the bath
I said 'Give me half'

I said 'Let's go to bed'
She suggested instead
That we should be wed

She said 'Not on your life
'Till we're man and wife
I'd rather be knifed'

So, she called in a priest
From the Northeast
Named Father McGeest

Then, we looked for a church
It proved quite a search
Were left in the lurch

So, we got married at home
By a garden gnome
Otherwise alone

At last, she gave me the glance
My skin crawled with ants
I reached in her pants

Then, I lit a fire
Isn't it good?
For down there was wood