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Old 2002-07-07, 18:35
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Xythen Xythen is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 7
Question Opinions on some lyrics please.

I write quite a lot of poetry/lyrics and end up discarding most of it. I'd like to know what you all feel about this one. Any comments/criticisms are will be appreciated.


Sadistic Creator

I am the artist, my tools
Disease and War.
Your face a canvas on which I'll paint
This portrait of pain, a mask of agony.
Wear this mask for me, I'm the last you'll see of life.

Sadistic creator; pain, disease and war.
Sadistic creator; hate, fear and emotional scars.

You are the subject, mine to contort.
This life I've given you, a double-edged sword.
I have manifested all that exists
But you've abused this gift, tell me why you deserve it.

Sadistic creator; pain, disease and war.
Sadistic creator; hate, fear, everlasting scars.

The joy of life you've shattered and raped,
Emptiness is all I'll leave in my wake.
Human-kind has made within itself a void,
Like a flawed piece of art it must be destroyed.

Sadistic creator; pain, disease and war.
Sadistic creator shall create no more...



I think it might sound a bit too clichéd in parts, like the final lines of the first verse. What do you think??
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