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Old 2005-04-19, 23:07
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Forum Daemon
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When you say 'my bane,' it doesn't mean 'my method to cause misery' but rather 'the thing that causes me misery.' It implies that his killing is self-destructive when it's really, from his viewpoint, celebratory; he doesn't seem to feel that he's doing anything bad to himself, that this is some kind of sickness he suffers from or whatever like some literary killers do. The rest of the poem suggests that he's having a hell of a good time. If you're trying to say that he knows that being a violent prick's eating away at him in some way, then it's fine; if you're trying to say what I think you're trying to say it's the wrong word.

While I'm thinking on this, replacing it with 'vein,' as in the thing that brings you life, makes a neat if somewhat tenuous and unclear metaphor. I'm not suggesting you try that, since I think it's somewhat weak; it just popped into my head.
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