2004-10-29, 17:28
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dsnt trust ne1 < 30
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Home is where the <3 is
Posts: 8,834
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Yep, that was pretty cool. There's a couple probably typoed places like in the fifth line , should that be 'passed' or 'passes' ? 'Pass' just doesn't sound right to me. The fifth part , 4th line --'nothingless' ? Is that right? Should it be nothingness or two words-- nothing less ?
That's the only things I see I'd comment about. The piece was very nice. I enjoyed the imagery a lot. The title is good, too.
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My eldest son's bipolar website: www.bipolarmanifesto.com
-wally: Mom, you shouldn't play after me because it makes you sound even worse than you already do. -wally:*grumbles and whispers quietly* I guess it's cuz I love you or something, but you're still a TURD
Grimm:I could read your mind but its in font size .5
Amadeus:Oh, and was there a cesserole (never mind spelling) involved?
Paddy:the fact that you didn't end up on a kids show makes me question my atheism
Dyldo: You evil strumpet!
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