Vider
 

This is my take of a Viking Metal song:

Vidar

At the destruction of the world, the final battle
Odin will be killed by the wolf Fenrir

Vidar will avenge his father grim death
by killing the wolf with his bare hands

VIDER, SON OF ODIN
The god of silence and revenge
VIDER, SON OF ODIN
The second strongest of the gods

He will press one foot on Fenrir's bottom jaw,
and will take hold of his other jaw and tear the wolf apart

He is one of the gods that will rule the new world,
when it is created

VIDER, SON OF ODIN
the god of silence and revenge
VIDER, SON OF ODIN
the second strongest of the gods

He is one of the gods that will rule the new world,
when it is created

WHEN IT IS CREATED!

*snicker, snort, laugh* Its uh... good....














not like i could write any better.

Iread this awhile back and I didn't like it but couldn't figure out why. So I let it rest and came back again to reread it.
I think that the chorus is fine, but the verses are lackluster. Yes, you're describing what will happen but it needs to be more than just a list of this will happen and then that . Add some more drama into those and I think it will come together more positively.
I'm not going to offer ideas of what to say because I'm not familiar with Vidar at all and barely with Odin. Get some more guts into it and don't be shy about it. It doesn't sound like a mellow song. Give it some balls. :)