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-   -   poems of the nocturnal sun (http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8260)

Agent Smith 2003-10-18 20:08

poems of the nocturnal sun
 
1 Attachment(s)
I know they say the best poetry/songs come from the heart and from personal experiences, but my story is very different. I take in other bands' lyrics as influences and I write my songs with their styles in mind. Take a look and let me know what you think. (btw my band is called Nocturnal Sun)

[~] The Nocturnal Sun [~]
(an Emperor-like song done by me)
-Frank S.

As I approach the blackened gate, the rusted
door of the dead, I wonder how fate has
claimed so many a head. A sound of
silent death ever-present in the air. Entombed
for all eternity, the dead search for the
path, to silence and spiritual purity,
in the wake of all the black. Enchanting
raging silence prevailing in the night,
saying "You will find what you seek in the
glow of the azure moonlight."

Souls find refuge in the nocturnal sun, for their
flight to eternity has only begun.
Tales of life before in stillness dwell,
for these stories of existence only the dead
can tell. As the night consumes the day,
fading and blurring still, I join the
fallen and bend to their malevolent will.



-Of The Ominous Night-
-Frank S.

Tend the fire, feed its flames
Raging in the dead of night
Fiercely alive, it plays its games
Raging in the dead of night

Embers flicker and fly around
Rise up out of the dark
A solitary glow, devoid of sound
Rise up out of the dark

The mystic glow, the intense warmth
Burn strong, o gentle light
Most tender of elements, in natural form
Burn strong, o gentle light

Solace fills all who hear
Souls ablaze with passion
Dance alive and without fear
Souls ablaze with passion

From chaos is born tranquillity
In the wake of the warmth
An escape from all nihility
In the wake of the warmth

Silently dimming into shadow
Flickering and dying
With the dead of night sure to follow
Flickering and dying

Ashes and whispers in the air
Devoid of heat
Closure is found in night's empty stare
Devoid of heat

Shadows stalk the mist
Brooding, silent wraiths
Midnight shakes its ravenous fist
Brooding, silent wraiths

hidden meaning in the poem:

Such is the world today
Cruel and so hollow
But who is it that can say
That change will not follow?

Take comfort in the glow
Of momentary happiness
For some will never know
That not all life is sadness

------------------------------------------------------------

Thirst of The Sword
(A song influenced by the Power Metal category)
-Frank S.

|verse1|
Crimson drops on a blades of green
Fields awash with red
Corpses all around you can be seen
Land of life, now land of dead

{Chorus}
We still move onward
A battle around every turn
Fighting to the front of the hoard
MORE BLOOD! Our swords do yearn

|Verse2|
Rolling black clouds pave our way
On through the valleys with force
Run through the blade and I'll show you the way
To death with no remorse

-chorus-

|verse3|
Warrior spirits at their peaks
With blades of crushing steel
An all-out bloodbath is what we seek
Bringers of death evermore

-chorus2-

~interlude~
My blade drinks of your neverending wine,
Your chalice shall be your tomb

---------------------------------------------------------
+Frigid Planes of Insanity+
-Frank S.
(Very Immortal-influenced)

|verse1|
Shroud of white mist,
Empty planes of snow
The chill of arctic's fist
A land so bleak, so cold.
Veil of azure
Far as eye can see
Such is the world
Inside of me

{Chorus}
Dead... So dead and so cold,
In the depths of my mind
Dead... So dead and so cold,
This world is never kind

|verse2|
A vast gray sky,
Darkening every day.
Myself is what I vie for
Because I'm slipping away
Into the chilling sea
Numbness, my friend
Sinking into the deep,
This torment will never end

chorus x2

----------------------------------------


=This poem/song by Garrett M.=


-THE BLACK FLAMES-
Born of the night, the force arose
The flames of blackness, burning like fire
Swiftly killing it all to nothing
Consuming the land with their dark desire

They have claimed this blackened ground
Where pitiful life did live
In an instant, it was stolen
The gift of death, the flames did give

They burned up high as they went
As an unstoppable angry force
In defiance they continually rose
Continuing their killing, with no remorse.

The flames burn strong, as black as night
Them possessed of dark, they onward burned
Waiting for something to cause to die
The hatred for life, more death they yearned

The blackened flames now die down
Seeing as their mission is done
But one small spark could light the flame
And anything alive, shouldn't bother to run

-------------
Rundown
-Frank S.

|verse1|
Constant shadow of what I could be
Never could live up to the times.
From the time that you told me what I should be
To the days when I just broke away...
Won't come back to those days and those times
when the feel wasn't right but you try and you die within...

-I have to bail and
-Run away
-Run away from

{Chorus}
This figure standing tall
Bend and break me,
Destroy and shame me,

What's the cause of it all
Cuz I am so weak,
Rundown under your feet

|verse2|
Fighting to claim my right to be free,
Free from all your fake dead ways.
Cold empty eyes stare back at me,
Looking for reason in the fray.
Won't come back to those days and those times
when the feel wasn't right but you try and you die within...

-I have to bail and
-Run away
-Run away from

+Chorus x2

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Cloak Of Shadows
(Again, power metal influenced)
-Frank S.

|verse1|
Out to the twilight, riding fast
Headlong into the night
Outlaw of the past,
Driven towards the ongoing fight
Battle is the finest hour
But mettle him no more
All of his enemies
Have come to taste his sword

{chorus}
Midnight rider,
Silent wraith
A trail of the slain
Is laid in his wake

Dark chariot,
Killing as he goes
Upon his back lies
The cloak of shadows

|verse2|
Anarchy, his mindframe. Relies on himself
Visions astir in his head
Vigilante of the darkest kind
Those who see him will be dead
A stir of echoes, the subconscious beast
A mystery to all
No time for honor, there is no need
Test his strength, but you will fall

{chorus x2}
---------------------

I Can't
(not meant to be a metal song)
-Frank S.

[verse 1]
You call...
Call for the winds of change
Yet you fall...
Fall for it you're the same
As them all...
And you're nothing different
To me

I can't

[Chorus]
Change you
Think for yourself
Change you
I would try
But it wouldn't help

[verse 2]
Is it wrong...
To leave you there
And move on...
After all I am
Just one...
Only you can save
you now

But I can't show you how
I CAN'T

[chorus2]
Change you
Think for yourself
Change you
Nobody else
What if I? What if I can help?

NO I CAN'T
--------------------

Blind Degradation
-Frank S.

Verse1:
Can you see? The maddening darkness,
Was my lifeblood for such a long time.
Victim of the curse, I breathe anew
It comes easy to those who know the way.
Can you see? Are you blind?

Take your place with the rest as you fall helpless.

Chorus:
Ensnared, Enslaved, stripped of all rights,
Eternity spent on a useless cause.
Transfiguration of the darkness
A chaotic fall to blind degradation.

Verse2:
You cannot see.
Each day turns, another page.
Your focus is lost.
No mental sight no inner thoughts, blindly giving way to the sin you welcome.

Take your place with the rest as you fall helpless.

Frantic, you run. Run towards your glorified hosts. My faith in you is lost...

[chorus]x2

With the blink of an eye, you mistake morals as lies, treasures for the eyes, not caring who buys. Sight forsaken, life is taken, the story of the world's BLIND DEGRADATION.
-------------------------------------

Inner Battlefield
(the mental battle to blend in or be an individual)
-Frank S.

Verse 1:
BANG BANG. A battle's going on.
See the men, tired and weak
No side winning, marching ever on
Racing towards the breach.
The glowing dark-light
The hate befallen
In the dead of night
Still I must FIGHT

|chorus:|
Fight Fight Fight
The battle wages onward
What side is right?
Which will conquer?
Speak to silence
Fight for the best
Find the core of what I am
and fight off the rest
FIGHT!!!!

Verse 2:
Hate is for the weak
Fools talk, i say
In a world so meek
So easy to be swayed
Deceitful fiends push
Negating all I know
Deprived of all strength,
Yet I have the will to GO

|chorus|

Interlude:
I try to find me but I can't see (in front of me)
I fall, down to my knees (but suddenly)
This urge comes (comes upon me) it says stand, you'll not fall today, get up and FIGHT

|chorus| x2
-----------------------------------

If you like the songs, look me up on www.freewebs.com/nocturnalsun :)

L,B'XXX 2003-10-20 07:34

I've read the first few pieces and they're pretty good, but I haven't read them all yet. That's a lot to handle to me in a single sitting. Just wanted you to know I am reading though.

Agent Smith 2003-10-21 14:58

yah i guess that's a lil much, but I wanted 2 get em all up here, even the bad ones near the bottom thx for reading em, let me know what you think

L,B'XXX 2003-10-21 19:24

heh heh You want ME to read a lot? Here's what happens when you do that. :)
1- Sounds like Court of the Crimson King, good imagery, good beginning
2-Would be nice done like Scorpions-Send me an angel , I like the reps
3-I think this is my favorite because of the imagery. It's got a good painted picture. Good descriptions. I especially liked the 2nd verse
4- Zeppelin-No Quarter-like Simplicity in line, frigid feeling, that's why I said it sounded like that. It reads cold.
5- Whoa, that was cool, too. I got a verse reading from that one with something playing in the background .Or maybe a Metallica-like sound. I also went the other extreme almost Dream Theater-Silent Man sounding.
6-Gotta be something that the words really stand out . Almost a protest-like song. Something that sounds look-at-me-and-pay-attention !
7-Damn, kid! I like the way you write. I saw a dark horse and rider with a billowy cape sort of like a headless horseman type thing. And you were consistent in the dark images all through it. Definitely a Metallica historical-type piece. You have to keep your lyrics up front and not drown them in 'too loud' other stuff.
8-This one you said not metal so I went clear to the other extreme. An acoustic ballad very soft and slow. Barely there guitar for an interlude between a couple kick butt songs. I can't really find fault with your lyrics so I'm giving ideas for music.... which you may already have , but I'm older than dirt so humor me. :)
9-I got a heavy Jethro Tull sound from this. Some almost hauty and arrogant.
10-Blast it type metal. No holds barred. Growls and the whole 9 yards. The icing on the cake. Very emotive and passionate.

I really enjoyed this. I think when I first started yesterday I wasn't quite in the mood, but I got into them today and I looked at it from the perspective of reading lyrics of an album. We do that quite a bit. And I saw a flow of ideas that I liked as far as tying them all together. I think they have a good blend. But there's still some element of sameness to them. It may be wording or style. I think more the latter. You do nice work. Thanks for sharing. Hope this didn't bore every one to tears. :) If you want to discuss anything privately pm me. But this board is kinda slow anyways so it really wouldn't bump much. Gotta be considerate.

L,B'XXX 2003-10-21 19:25

That has got to be one of the longest posts I've ever done.







I heard a high pitched , collective "SHUT UP , BITCH !" :D
Oh-kay...........

Agent Smith 2003-10-22 16:54

thanks, BIG TIME! I had no idea the songs were that good. Your music recommendations were very helpful, as I was actually thinking about what they would sound like with music put to them and what music to use exactly. I don't have a full band yet, But I can get a good idea as of now what I want them to sound like. Thanks a TON!!! And also, getting advice from an older person is better, so no prob with that. Once again thank you thank you thank you :beer:

L,B'XXX 2003-10-24 07:16

Glad to help out anytime. :)

Agent Smith 2003-10-25 13:03

1 Attachment(s)
My banner for my site... www.freewebs.com/nocturnalsun

Agent Smith 2003-11-09 09:05

Three new songs...
The first is my newest. The third song, Read Your Lines, was written at a time where I was questioning religion, so it means a lot to me even though I'm pretty set on Christianity.

Death Sentence
-Frank S.

[verse1]
Now I'm bleeding on myself again
By your hand, always wanted this to end.
When the time comes, you say you'll be there
Yet I'm always left with only silence and dead air.
A traitor's lies are all that you've made
I see it in the faces of the friends you've played.
Who will save you when I settle the score?
Now you're going to get what's yours

|Chorus|
Payback for your whole fuckin scheme
Stand over your tomb, it's about to begin
No one around to hear your screams
Dug your grave, now I'm pushing you in

[verse2]
Rise above this, I told myself
This isn't your time or your hell.
Behind the smile, looking deep I see,
Your evil ways brought you down to your knees.
It's your time to go, as you will find
Feel what it's like to be stabbed from behind
As your blood drips out from the blade inside,
Now you feel the pain that once was mine.

Times change... Times change...
Times change... Times change...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------



|-| Siege of The Throne |-|
-A black metal song by Frank S. & Garrett M.


[verse1}
Blood-filled lakes and fiery sky
This path has been walked before
The mighty tyrants unleash
The rage of aeons, a mighty force
Dark hellions arise, rise up and
Dethrone, devour, destroy

|Chorus|
Duskfall and cries in the night
Chilling sound of cracking bone
The kingdom falls tonight
Such is the fate of the cursed throne

[verse2]
Screams let out, only to be carried away,
Muted by thick air as they fall back
Seeds of evil grown; time to play
A once great castle defiled by the black.
Dark hellions arise, rise up and
Dethrone, devour, destroy

~ending (spoken with no instruments)~
As the ashes of dark destruction lay,
Death was the answer, the only way.
From the ultimate dark, the hellspawn mamed
the throne now gone, for it was consumed amidst the fiercest of flames

--------------------------------------------------------------------------


{+} Read Your Lines {+}
-Frank S.

[verse1]
It starts as a feeling, turns into an emotional ride
The time flies by as you sit and think of why
You just can't see the pain within me
Because you don't give a shit from what I see
You continue to fight it, push it all down
It's right there in your mouth, yet you only frown
I constantly feed you with the biggest sign
But if you don't take time, you can't have time

|Chorus|
So this is what it's like
To feel hollow day to day
Just like living a lie
Just another actor in the play

[verse2]
I still resist, can't seem to give in
So much I've missed, I just can't win
Everything I've ever known and all I was taught
A distant reminder of gullible childish thought
Give him something to believe in, and he'll be fine
But when the time comes, where is the divine?
A thought process created within the head
Empty and meaningless, this I must shed...

[verse3]
A life of restriction, reflection, restraint
A life devoid of conviction and emotional strength
Plaguing my mind with these blasphemous thoughts
If I let it all out just for once, I'll get caught
Where confusion is born we need to grab on tight
To whatever we can just to make it through the night
So believable and easy to comprehend
No wonder this has become such a trend

-----------------------------------------------------

L,B'XXX 2003-11-09 15:55

The first one I liked because it turned the nemesis into the victim. I especially liked the chorus. It just had a "your turn to eat shit now" attitude. The good guy won after all. Cool.

2nd one-- This had some cool imagery in it. A little more fictious drama but the flow was good and I liked the reps in it. Some blast beats in the reps and very full blown metal would sound good waning to the last spoken part.

3rd-- I was so surprised the day I heard my grandmother expressing her doubts of her religious beliefs, but throughout the ages people have questioned the existence of God and Jesus. It's all through the Bible. But as His children, children ask questions. If we're receptive and listen, we get answers. At least, I have. And it doesn't always mean we do as we're told either. It's not the deeds we do though it's the faith we have , and I think receiving from Him makes faith easier.
There's a lot of validity in what you wrote. There's a lot of why's and what if's. Many give just the lip service of how things are supposed to be, but they don't live it 24/7 or think God only exists on Sundays. To me that's not right. I'm not saying I'm any sort of holy, but I do know who's loved me and who is very real to me.
I'm almost thinking a counter point to the song would be good. If I'm getting that you are a believer. I've heard other songs that speak of secular living that becomes changed in attitude when certain things are finally realized. They know the words to use , but can't really feel it in their heart's until something remarkable happens.

And now I'll quit my babbling. :) You're quite talented though.

Agent Smith 2003-11-09 19:56

Quote:
Originally posted by L,B'XXX
The first one I liked because it turned the nemesis into the victim. I especially liked the chorus. It just had a "your turn to eat shit now" attitude. The good guy won after all. Cool.


yes, it's actually about backstabbing friends and retribution for that. It's more of a teen-angst kinda thing now that I look at it. It's really strong to me, though. I was just really pissed off when I wrote it.

Quote:
2nd one-- This had some cool imagery in it. A little more fictious drama but the flow was good and I liked the reps in it. Some blast beats in the reps and very full blown metal would sound good waning to the last spoken part.


ahhh blast beats, it never occured to me. :) what a kickass idea, possibly a creative Nick Barker-ish blast beat in there. Funny thing about this song is that me and my friend Garrett actually wrote this in the back of English class during a movie haha. he wrote the spoken part, I wrote the rest.

Quote:
3rd-- I was so surprised the day I heard my grandmother expressing her doubts of her religious beliefs, but throughout the ages people have questioned the existence of God and Jesus. It's all through the Bible. But as His children, children ask questions. If we're receptive and listen, we get answers. At least, I have. And it doesn't always mean we do as we're told either. It's not the deeds we do though it's the faith we have , and I think receiving from Him makes faith easier.
There's a lot of validity in what you wrote. There's a lot of why's and what if's. Many give just the lip service of how things are supposed to be, but they don't live it 24/7 or think God only exists on Sundays. To me that's not right. I'm not saying I'm any sort of holy, but I do know who's loved me and who is very real to me.
I'm almost thinking a counter point to the song would be good. If I'm getting that you are a believer. I've heard other songs that speak of secular living that becomes changed in attitude when certain things are finally realized. They know the words to use , but can't really feel it in their heart's until something remarkable happens.


I have gotten plenty of answers since I wrote that song (about 4 1/2 weeks ago I think), so another upbeat song would probably be in the workings soon when I'm a little less busy. Yes, I am a believer, however I can't really show any of these songs to my parents as they wouldn't understand at all. They have no idea about the black metal philosophy and style of writing, so they'd think that most of my fictitious songs were devil-influenced and they'd be much more strict on me. My real songs like Read Your Lines I can't show them either because they'd take it so strongly and think that I've "faded away from Christianity". They still don't even accept metal as a kind of music either. They say it's jsut "noise with uncreative screaming and random anger."

anyway I'll stop boring you... Thanks for all your comments, any feedback helps me in my writing. Also, If you want, you can see my actual band website which has all the songs posted and the meanings behind them on http://www.freewebs.com/nocturnalsun
I also have my 3 mp3's I composed for guitar and recorded on a link on there. I would actually love to have a band someday, but it's just too hard a life to go by because nothing is certain, and most likely the band will not get noticed and remain unsigned. I want something more certain, but on the lines of music, so I want to have a job somewhere in the field of music production.

anyway there ya go :) and thx big time, since almost nobody comes to the poetty/lyrics section much

Drag the Waters 2003-11-10 01:59

nice job. liked the third one the best, but im an atheist myself.. heh. i downloaded that song "embrace the dark", damn good riffs in there! by the way, just curious, How did you record those?

Agent Smith 2003-11-10 07:37

I downloaded a $250 recording program and found a crack to it on Kazaa, called Cool Edit Pro v.2. It's the best thing that I ever found, because I've made close to 30 mp3's of my own recording right in my room! :) so i didn't pay a cent. I use a .wav recorder to record the rough copies and different tracks, then I link them together in Cool Edit and edit the sound/timings then mix it down to an mp3 file. That song you listened to actually was 6 different .wav files mixed into one mp3. thanks man, I tried to go in an Arch Enemy-esque direction, even if it's a short song.


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