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-   -   MetalTabs Hottie Part II: Sausage Fest (http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=56666)

Paddy 2011-05-03 08:17

MetalTabs Hottie Part II: Sausage Fest
 
Objectifying women is all good and well - seriously good and well, I loves me some objectifyin' - but let's turn the tables and see which one of you glans-faced tossers can tip the scales in this all new HOTTIE SHOWDOWN!

Multiple votes are permitted; there's enough love to go around.


Dyldo 2011-05-03 08:24

I vote myself. Vote for me so I can fill the huge gapping chasm in my soul.

L,B'XXX 2011-05-03 08:41

Where's the "None of the above?" And I didn't say nun I said none.

Amadeus 2011-05-03 08:51

Vote for me and I'll introduce you to one of the girls in the picture. And yeah, we have at least another ten in my section alone, so don't hesitate.

Paddy 2011-05-03 09:53

I voted for the following:

Amadeus: I've always wanted to sodomise Varg Vikernes, but I'll settle for his much more attractive sister instead.

Chris Rezendes: I've always wanted a threesome with Mr. T and Ricky Martin, but I'll settle for...well, you get the idea.

drawn&quartered: I didn't realise how fucking pretty you are until I started searching for pics of you. Plus you were already in my good books :love:

Dyldo: I voted for Dylan because I've often wondered what it'd be like to fuck an educationally subnormal gender non-specific with a clef palate and a penchant for dog cum.

Gomli: Just look at the fuckin' guy. Who wouldn't wanna be eaten alive by him?

PST 88: I think PST is quite attractive, in all seriousness. He would cook for you, he'd engage you in intellectual conversation, he looks like Sage Francis [allegedly] and being his bitch would ensure that you and your family would survive the Goyim Holocaust he and his ilk have been planning for centuries.

I didn't vote for JoeYngVai because I didn't really care for Mystic River and felt he was a bit hackneyed in it. John is a Merseyside faggot, and thus is excluded from my selection process by default. Requiem would just split me in two, and I want to live to fuck another day.

drawn&quartered 2011-05-03 10:34

This blackmail and heresy. Those pics where from when I was 17? I demand...I dont know. Either way I will vote for dyldo so I can fill his huge gaping hole.

Wolfsherz 2011-05-03 17:06

HOW COULD YOU'VE SKIPPED MY BEAUTIFUL FAAACE :'(

Paddy 2011-05-03 21:05

Quote:
Originally Posted by drawn&quartered
This blackmail and heresy. Those pics where from when I was 17? I demand...I dont know. Either way I will vote for dyldo so I can fill his huge gaping hole.
If you upload a recent pic of your perty face I'll replace the one in the poll ;) Or I could just remove you if you're not happy with it, Wolf will gladly take your place, the vain little fucker that he is!

Requiem 2011-05-04 03:39

Obviously myself.

Everyone else is either too fat or too fucking skinny. Plus, Christian Bale is hot.

blitz906 2011-05-04 03:49

GOMLI!

:love:

Gomli 2011-05-04 04:10

WHERE THE FUCK IS BB IN THE POLL ABOVE?!?!?!?!?!

MANOWAR

Edit: Ah fuck that I'd do Dylan at any time

johnmansley 2011-05-04 04:37

Rezendes looks like what I imagine Katie Price's son, Harvey, would grow up to look like.

Paddy 2011-05-04 04:43

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmansley
Rezendes looks like what I imagine Katie Price's son, Harvey, would grow up to look like.
:rofl:

drawn&quartered 2011-05-04 06:22

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy
If you upload a recent pic of your perty face I'll replace the one in the poll ;) Or I could just remove you if you're not happy with it, Wolf will gladly take your place, the vain little fucker that he is!

nah just keep it. I like to look at that picture of myself and pretend I am a girl. I squint my eyes at the screen and it helps make it happen, then I start masturbating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem
Obviously myself.

Everyone else is either too fat or too fucking skinny. Plus, Christian Bale is hot.


Christian Bale is also 6 feet tall so I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Dyldo 2011-05-04 07:28

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gomli
WHERE THE FUCK IS BB IN THE POLL ABOVE?!?!?!?!?!

MANOWAR

Edit: Ah fuck that I'd do Dylan at any time

Adda boy!

Technically, the poll means nothing since I won in last years Tabby awards.

Paddy 2011-05-05 04:20

Well shucks, would you look at that! I'm in the lead!!!!!

Chris Rezendes 2011-05-05 05:57

I had to vote for myself as I'm clearly the sexiest member on the poll (that awful picture notwithstanding), but I really have to protest the utter lack of BassBehemoth on the poll. I mean, I would fuck myself... technically I do three or four (or 12) times a week. If I could clone myself, I'd hit that to.

But if I were trapped in a room with my clone and BassBehemoth both trapped in a stockade with their pants down and only enough lube to violently rape one of them, I'd rocket my jizz bomb deep into BBs intestines every single time.

Paddy 2011-05-05 06:29

OH ALRIGHT THEN! Steve has been replaced by BB. Steve is never here anyway, he thus relinquishes his right to be the object of our collective homosexual confusions.

Chris Rezendes 2011-05-05 17:47

I object to the fact that the picture you posted makes it look as though I am about to rape the person looking at it. The whole idea is that the poster should be intending to take me prison style, not the other way around.

So here are some more relaxed shots 4 u gais. If you are anything like the guys at MCI Cedar Junction, you'll love these.

http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/5233/073nw.jpg
http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/8479/091zn.jpg
http://img841.imageshack.us/img841/2120/100xw.jpg

NSFW! Too hawt for int3rw3bz!
http://img218.imageshack.us/img218/5043/139fx.jpg

I love that last one. It's simultaneously the best and worst shot anyone has ever taken of me.

Paddy 2011-05-05 21:47

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Rezendes
I love that last one. It's simultaneously the best and worst shot anyone has ever taken of me.
Wow, wow, WOW! Now just what the fuck is going on here? You're mixed race, true, but usually that doesn't manifest itself with a brown man's extremities and a white man's torso.

You're a hot fucker, regardless of your Legoland construction. In the second pic with the little girl you look positively sexy, and not just because you're next to a little girl.

Me. In. Feel. You. Wanna. I.

There, it can't be gay if it's not grammatically correct!

By the way, I have a small comment about the third pic. I know you're in college n'all, but even a high school kid failing physics could tell you that you cannot lift yourself off the ground.

"LOOK! I'm doing it, I'm doing it!"

NO Chris. NO.


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