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-   -   Dear Steve: An Open Letter to a Bastard (http://metaltabs.com/forum/showthread.php?t=56607)

Paddy 2011-02-10 08:06

Dear Steve: An Open Letter to a Bastard
 
You swan around here like you aren't an infected anus, and you parade your trophy girlfriend in front of our very faces as if we need reminding that you're punching above your weight like Vern Troyer taking a swing at Giant Haystacks. Surely it'd be less hassle to actually grow a real beard than to go through this 24/7 gay charade of maintaining a metaphorical one. Maybe it's time to pass the fucking ball mate, ya feel me?

In the meantime, have a lovely - and preferably chaste - birthday.

Yours,
the undersigned. And me, Paddy.

:beer: :love:

STEVE FOR THE WIN!

DameFraMorkum 2011-02-10 08:33

Not even sure what to make of the above.

Anyway, Happy Birthday my love! Hope you celebrate with a thrashtastic alcoholocaust. :love:

Dyldo 2011-02-10 08:48

Happy your-parents-fucked-like-wild-otters-once day!

I lift this bubbling alka-seltzer filled styrofoam cup up to you.

L,B'XXX 2011-02-10 08:51

Hey, happy birthday, ya old fart.

From,
Another old fart

Amadeus 2011-02-10 09:38

Have a good one!

johnmansley 2011-02-10 22:01

There are three things that need banging in life: drums, girls and one's head :beer:

Gomli 2011-02-10 23:15

SSSSSSSLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYEEEEEEEER

Chris Rezendes 2011-02-11 09:08

MetalThrashingFag. Fuck ye, Steve!

Dyldo 2011-02-11 09:48

Quote:
Originally Posted by johnmansley
There are three things that need banging in life: drums, girls and one's head :beer:

I am so stealing this.

YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD 2011-02-12 12:06

Steve, you need to drink a lot. A LOT. Happy birthday, drink lots of Arrogant Bastard.

DameFraMorkum 2011-02-13 04:59

Hey Mike, are you gonna be at Deathfest this year?

Requiem 2011-02-13 05:20

Fuck you Steve, I thought this thread was made for the cool Steve.

:beer:

PST 88 2011-03-01 09:43

Is there a cool Steve? I don't know of one.

YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD 2011-03-01 18:05

Quote:
Originally Posted by DameFraMorkum
Hey Mike, are you gonna be at Deathfest this year?


No I am not :( Art thou?

Chris Rezendes 2011-03-01 18:19

Quote:
Originally Posted by PST 88
Is there a cool Steve? I don't know of one.


FearFrost is almost decent. I mean, as decent as anyone with a shit name like Steve could be, anyway.

Seriously, anyone named Steve should be mandated by law to be pimply and mullet-headed with a horrible, teenage-quality mustache. Proper, government issued (and enforced) attire for a so-called "Steve" would consist of stained, greasy wifebeaters, nuthugging jeans, and horrible denim vests for the balance of their existence on this Earth. You know, like a 16 year old at a Slayer concert in 1985. That is the proper aesthetic for the accursed name "Steve".

Fucking Steves.

DameFraMorkum 2011-03-02 05:59

Quote:
Originally Posted by YOUR_GOD_IS_DEAD
No I am not :( Art thou?



Yup I'll be there. And aside from the pimples and the greasy wifebeater, Chris, that sounds a lot like Steve at 16!

L,B'XXX 2011-03-02 06:33

My neighbor's big orange cat is named Steve. It was a stray that appeared after their daughter died tragically. Her dad always wanted a cat called Steve. He must weigh 25 pounds and sounds like a lion when he purrs.


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