Pretty Screwed-up Thought or I'm Leaving
 

Not really, but now that I have your attention --

There is a minor issue that needs resolved due to the fact that some people refuse to share what they have willingly, and need to be horsewhipped and hogtied in order to make them do it. Thusly goes it when trying to pry birthday cake from Paddy McStingy. For all these years he's refused to give any of us anything but a hard time and that was only a very limp hard time. This year I think that if he wants any birthday wishes I think he should quit being such a dolt and cough up the cake. On second thought, if cake was anywhere near Paddy's hands who knows what else it was near and I think I'll opt out of the cake. I'll just wish you a happy birthday, Paddy. Maybe that fitj will make it to you for Christmas if the tater man doesn't steal it. :smash: Thanks for all the entertainment, ya gaelic miscreant.

Geez oh pete, Paddy!!! Just read the darn thing tomorrow and blame it on my senility!!!! :p
I'm going to cry in a corner now.

You're a day early! Granted, "arriving" sooner than expected is kinda my modus operandi, but I'm not that fuckin' bad.

On the plus side this means that I'll have my own thread this year instead of having to share one with that insufferable limey bastard John "I Secretly Masturbate Over Pictures of Wayne Rooney and Don't Know My Times Tables" Mansley.

And let's be honest here, I'm a fucking big shot; I deserve at LEAST one full day of birthday preamble. This thread is like the soup of the day and tomorrow will be the main course of beans and sausage sammiches.

Haha I like the subtle PST mention in the thread title, despite the fact that I specifically requested that no Jews attend my sweet birthday shebang.

Oh alright, you can come, just don't shift your shape or try to steal pocketfuls of nibbles from the buffet. And yes Chris, there will be watermelon smoothies as requested. And no Dylan, you're not invited. Everyone else is. Especially Dystopia. He's kewl.

Fanx Bobbers :)

How can a ginger have a 'birth'-day when everybody knows they're the product of spores given off randomly during periods of high stress by other gingers that develop into gingers with the appearance of a creepy 11 year-old kid? It's like having a birthday for a mushroom, except creepier.

This, by the way, is why you should murder gingers in their sleep. That way they won't spore and give us more of the bastards.

The bad weather speaks for itself. It just has to be a ginger-birthday otherwise I couldn`t explain the apocalyptic weather out there.

I love you.

Cheers to Paddy, my main argument since many years as to why opening European borders is a spectacularly bad idea!

Edit - by the way, considering the timing, I think this is your birthday song.
http://www.box.net/shared/kvd7f8nfh3

umm

happy birthday dawg? :beer:

Man, that would be great cranked with headphones. ;) Mesmerizing.

Paddy, didn't you know it's not just a birthday party, it's a bris? We have to have a token there at least.

We don't use that potato man anymore. His potatoes were of inferior quality.

I don't think I talked about him on the forum before, so for those who are wondering: there's a guy who delivers potatoes to my house in a big blue van. He doesn't deliver anything else. He's the potato man. I sometimes wonder why people are so opposed to stereotyping because I've yet to hear one about the Irish which doesn't ring true.

I've never met a ginger who didn't have a bellybutton, unless of course they have one stamped into their gut during childhood as a means of ingratiating themselves into human society, which is of course ridiculous and racist and precisely the kind of bigoted rhetoric the typical shape-shifting Jew is renowned for, so your spore theory doesn't seem to be supported by empirical evidence plus your mama's a fatty fat fat.

Even if it were true killing these spore-ridden gingers safely wouldn't be nearly as complicated as "waiting for them to sleep"; you simply have to use your Jew laser eyes and encase them in a Han Solo-style carbonite block.

The biblical weather isn't because of my birthday, it's because the sexual congress between me and PST's fat-legged mama last night was foretold by Nostradamus in his little known book, MICKRENOMICON!

You think border laws will stop us? That's like making a law which states that it's illegal for my farts to enter the nostrils of anyone who happens to be within the fallout region; it's physically impossible. We'd just ooze through your border fences like that liquid metal guy from Terminator 2.

I felt kinda bad laughing at this, because I was certain it was a joke until the guy replied to me in the other thread! :o

My main man with the plan D&Q! I've been tallying up all of the civil replies in my birthday threads over the years, and you're currently top of the list of non-cunts. When I die I'm leaving my collection of bottled farts to you. Enjoy them sparingly, unless you wanna prematurely join me purgatory as I await Bobbi's 5,000 prayers to bump me up to "first class".

Fuck, that's only a Catholic thing...well, even though I'm an atheist I'd still say Catholicism is the best option. Free sex, booze and biscuits, can't go wrong.

The only woman who'll ever get anywhere near my cock and balls with an edged weapon is that Asian lassie from the movie Audition. That bitch can do whatever the fuck she likes to my meat produce.

Happy Birthday, Cunt :beer:

Ironically "cunt" is the one gift I won't be getting. Well, I'll be fucking your Wesley Snipes-looking sister as I do every Wednesday, but in terms of getting pussy that's actually less legitimate than if I just stay at home and rub one out to the sound of my own weeping.

Cheers mucker :love:

Ya senile ole punk, you explain the tater man and now they all know that we converse elsewhere, but did you explain the fitj? NOOOOO!!!

I babysat a little boy with no belly button about 25+ years ago. He was not ginger. (He had a hernia as a baby and surgery sewed it up.) But he's about the same age as you, Paddy. No accent, but he wasn't quite potty trained so that could very well have been....... nah, not a chance.

I will scream your name tonight as I ejaculate into the roof of Richard's mouth. Sure I might get punched in the stomach for it, but my mom taught her children how to take a good hit in case the condom breaks.

Happy mushroom ginger day!

I love (parts) of you!

And fuck you, Amadeus. Once I figured out what the fuck LBX was blabbering about my first thought was to give him that song as his birthday present.

Oh alright:

Fitj is "fuck in the jar". Bobbi promised that she'd send me a jar packed with chopped liver for my birthday. At first I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with it, because I'm an innocent wee fella, but the dirty bitch informed me that I'm supposed to gently heat in the microwave for about 10 seconds with the lid still on so as to preserve the juices, and then I was supposed to take it out and...well, I can't even say it because it's too disgusting. You're a sick woman, Bobberina.

That argument didn't work for Josef Fritzl and it certainly ain't gonna work for you.

Interestingly I'll be screaming "Jumanji!" when I cum over the grave of my murdered son on the anniversary of his death which is coincidently the same day as my birthday. Perhaps coincidence isn't the right word to use when I was the one who smothered him with my ballsack in a horrendous snuff movie-grade tea-bagging.

You're not a bad lad, Dylderson. Not a bad lad at all. You may come to birthday party, but you can only stay for 15 minutes.

OMG, Paddy, can't you remember anything? It's "fart in a jar." What you said is physically impossible, but you're welcome to try if you want to.

Dyl'? Blabbering? I'm so hurt. :bawling:

:tomato:

Dude, Paddy, olives. Not liver, that's the poor man's food-fifi. Olives.

Olives?? If I wanna fuck something that feels like a collection of stewed eyeballs I'll go over to Iraq and stick my dick in a school.

/satire.

Holy fuckmonkey, I got a birthday email from MT just now. That's never happened in the 6 or so years I've been a member here.

AMAZING!

Wait, wha? You got the e-mail and you're still... I mean... OK. Who the fuck was responsible for uploading the complete package before sending? If everyone had just been doing their frikkin job it should have an expert forensic team a week just dig out the "Enter" key he obviously used in the above post. For shame!

And great minds think alike, Dyldo. This is, in other words, a most disturbing coincidence.

i luv u

:love:

Day late, but many cunts I wish to you :love: